I'm Not Sure of My Feelings For You (Harry Styles and Camila Cabello story)

Chapter 78 Emotions...

Depression, and anxiety? Those two things are something that I have never felt or encountered before, but since they have entered my life I have to accept it. He has caused this-these types of feeling, I'm no longer innocent but am slightly comfortable in my own skin.

The doctor and I talked for about an hour or so before my family decided to pay me a visit, right now they are talking amongst themselves.

  "Camila." My one cousin Pamela says, in her annoying voice. "So where is this "pure sex body" of yours?" She raises her eyebrows smirking, I just give her a confused look. "As in your boyfriend." She says in a duh tone.

  "Uh, uhm...he's visiting his mum." Did I just say mum?

  "Did you just say "mum"? She looks at me with amusement in her eyes. "Wow miss spoiled has picked up an accent from London." She laugh and my other bitchy cousins join in, they have always picked on me.

  "I'm not spoiled." I say lifting my head.

  "I'm not spoiled...my mommy just let's me go on a fabulous trip to London where I meet a gorgeous, pure sex body of a boyfriend." She mocks my voice, and giggles once or twice while she talks.

I turn my body to face the wall, and let small tears fall, trying not to make them obvious. "I'm getting out if here, there is too much "spoiledness" in this room." I can sense her rolling her eyes.

"See ya Camila...c'mon girls." She walks out the door, slamming it.

My uncles and boy cousins are still in my room, talking about a futbol game.

  "Mi niña preciosa, cómo estás?" (My precious girl, how are you?)  My uncle Chewy "coos" in my ear, he has always been my favorite of my mother's brothers.

  "I'm fine...is what everyone thinks, when in reality I'm not...I just want someone to understand." I sob into the uncomfortable pillow, my body shaking.

  "Doctor! Doctor!" My mother shouts probably because I'm shaking when its like eighty degrees in here, and me sobbing like a lunatic.

I watch as the doctor runs in the room but stops when he sees me, and walks over. "Will you give us a moment, please?" He asks my family. My mother gives me a weak smile, while Mr. Harris leads her out the door.

  "Now Cam, may I call you Cam?" I nod, while tears fall. "I would like for you to meet with the hospitals counselor." He writes something down then stretches his arm to hand me the paper, but I make no motion-when he notices this he rests the paper beside me. "I know it doesnt feel like it but things always work out at the end." He walks out the room.

  "I hope you're right..." I mutter once hes gone.

                  Harry's P.O.V:

Everything is annoying me...everyone is annoying me, when someone breathes or if something moves its annoying! I feel so stupid with how I feel...that doesn't even make sense! Ugh,fuck!

  "Harry, I know you are in no state of mind but could you please move over a bit?" Tori asks with a dull expression, and in a monotone voice. Ever since I "officially" broke up with Cam, everyone has been sad or depressed...well fuck them! I'm the one that is suffering! I lost the only thing and best thing that I care about! She thought I never loved her, when in reality I couldn't and can't live without her.

I can name off every detail, flaw, and naturalness of her body, but I can't tell you what or who I am. I'm not superman nor will I ever be, I'm just Harry-Harry Styles, the boy who is a fuck-up. The guy who screws with girl hearts, and then throws them to the curb when he's finished. I never was ashamed of my titles until I met her-when I did meet her the only title I wanted, and still want, is Harry Styles the boy who won over Camila Cabello's heart. To receive that title would be an honor, to be called that once would be incredible...but as of now my dream has been crushed.

It was never a game, or something to show...it wass real, she was real...I myself, since three years, was real. Her touch my touch, the words, the passion, all of it...was real. The worst part of it all is that I never showed or reassured her that it was real, and from this day forward she will always believe that it wasn't.

I have to start new, I have to forget her...I need a new everything.

                 Cam's P.O.V:

  "T-Take everything o-out of that apartment...I-I just please?" I beg, my voice hardly audible, when I tell the mover guys on the phone where the apartment is, while I stand by my mothers door. "T-Thank you, you have a nice day as well." I say hanging up.

The sky is a dull blue, it also seems broken like my heart. Tear stains cover my cheeks, I didn't dare to look in the mirror since I left the hospital. My eyes burn and are probably rimmed with red.

I decided to live my life as usual, to forget him...forget us. As hard as those decisions sound they have to work, otherwise I will disintegrate everyday.

Over all he will be tattooed onto my breaking heart, he was my first love. The one that I cared about, the one that cared about me...I thought. I loved, cared, and gave up everything for him.

Fresh Start will be my new moto, something I will live by...always live by.

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Twitter: @/ letmalikstyles1

Sorry this is short but we have...FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!!!!! WE ARE NOW ON THE SECOND BOOK!!!!! YAYYYY!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!

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