I'm Not Sure of My Feelings For You (Harry Styles and Camila Cabello story)

Chapter 69 All of Me Loves All of You

         (These Four Walls LittleMix

          John Legend All of Me)

I tossed and turned all night, my head was hurting, but my heart was hurting the worse. I couldn't breathe my chest felt constricted, as if 1,000  bricks were laying on it. My cramps began getting worse, my eyes couldn't open for a while they were shut closed with sleep-the funny thing was that I couldn't sleep.

I'm sitting on a chair in the small kitchen, that used to be steaming coffee, is now cold between my hands, the coffee is cold just like my body. His shirt along with my panties is all that covers my body. My tears have dried onto my cheeks, my eyes burn when I blink. I feel dirty and broken, my hair feels like dried hay, and my skin feels chalky.

Should I feel like this? Harry is just a boy...but he is-was my boy. He made me feel wanted in this world. I wanted a future with him. Our relationship is something I myself don't understand and probably never will.

I need to forget him, I need to continue living like I did before.

My hands run over the mail I collected from the mailbox, one has my name written on it.

   Dear Camila Cabello,
You have been one of the few selected to come visit our beautiful school of Juilliard. We have read your resame, and have seen that you are an extraordinary student. Please contact us if you are able to observe, and attend this orientation.

                             Sincerely,
                                   £dith ¥ork

Tears of joy fall onto my cheeks a small smile is seen. Something good has happened today.

Wait. Juilliard? Juilliard is in New York. New York is back in America...where Harry isn't. Harry? What will I do? Harry said he wants to take a break, which means he will call me...right?

If I stay in New York for a couple of days, it will give Harry enough time to think about us, whatever we are.

I grab my laptop and search for the airport's number.

Me: Hello?

Airport Operator: This is London Airlines how may I help you?

Me: I-I would like to b-book a flight to New York for Monday afternoon.

Airport Operator: Yes of course. Would you like a window seat, and would you like to be seated in coach?

Me: Yes please for both.

She asks me for my name and tells me how much to give from my credit card and tell me what time to be there. I thank her then hangup.

After I finish talking to the women on the phone I find myself missing the sound of someone, anyone's voice. I'm lonely, I feel like I've distanced myself from the world and they are doing their best to keep it that way.

I need Harry with me or at least in my life. I love him all of him, all of me loves him. The four walls around me are closing in, suffocating me, choking me.

His scent, his eyes, his face, his hair, his body...everything. Everything about that man makes me melt and makes me wish I was better for him. I'm the problem in this relationship, I never wanted to admit it but its true. If I wouldnt have spent time with James, Harry and I would still be together.

At this moment Harry would wrap his arms around me, sing a song in my ear which would send me to sleep. He would sense that I'm asleep and caress my hair, his lips would gently kiss my temple. His hair would tickle my forehead causing me to smile in my sleep. My mind would be fogged with jade green eyes and brown chestnut hair. His hand would find its way to my thigh, his finger tracing small circles onto my now chalky skin.