Bad Boy, Good Boy (boyxboy)

3 - AFTER the mistake I call a kiss

A/N: I haven't proofread, I haven't even re-read so I don't even know what exactly I've written, but I really wanted to share this chapter with you today. So, apologies in advance if something is confusing or messy or whatever...Let me know if it is! ;) 

Today is the second semi-final of Eurovision and I hope y'all are watching! I mean I'm celebrating. So let's all celebrate! :) 

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Happy reading x)

Chapter 3 - AFTER the mistake I call a kiss

Sam doesn't know this, because even though she won't judge me, I'm going to judge me. Telling her will make it more real, and you all know how much I hate real things. It's difficult to change real things, but much easier to live in your little fantasy world where you're both the good king and the evil queen, or the good queen and the evil king, or a witch or a goblin, or a motherfucking princess.

Mickey graduated yesterday and skipped the mad party where I heard someone got into a fight with someone else. He came to support Sam just like Sam had supported him, and he was gripping a bouquet of roses in his hands. Maybe he needs Sam as much as I need Nolan. At he hasn't managed to screw things up yet, but I have.

Five freaking agonising days. Five days avoiding Devon as best as I could. I told him yesterday that Sam needed my help with her dress and hair and what-not, so I kissed him on the cheek, hugged him and gave him a ridiculous heart key chain that I nearly broke in an angry fit I had the day before. But no, the key chain survived, even though I'll possibly break Devon's real heart.

I am ashamed. I am a shame.

Sam's warm hand leaves mine as she goes up to accept her diploma. High school is finally over and I feel dumber than ever.

I wipe my palms against my thighs. Sam returns to her seat, gives me a reassuring smile, and then it's my turn to take the walk of confusion. Should I thank Heather? Should I hug some of the teachers? Should I try to find my father in the crowd?

"Yaas, Luke!" I hear a yell, and it's followed by a whistle and very loud clapping. "I know that guy!"

My cheeks heat up and I wish I could just tell Jason to shut up, but I guess since these are my last moments of high school, they should be embarrassing.

"We are going to celebrate!" Jason adds loudly and bumps fists with Caleb. They have to stand next to the front row, so everyone can see them. And behind them is Ben, with his white baseball cap on backwards. He pats Jason on the head which distracts Jason enough that I can accept my diploma, shake hands with the principal, and return to my seat.

But where's Nolan? And my heart stabs itself with a rose thorn as I think about the possibility of him not being here.

At least the boys are here.

But I've screwed up royally. I'm going to lose my best friend and the boy I love.

Why, god, oh why did I kiss him? Was it because Devon had ditched me again? Was it because I was drunk? (I wasn't that drunk, but – maybe.) But the most probable answer is that I'm just a fuck-up and I deserve to be alone. With Sam, it was easy. We found comfort in each other when we needed it the most, or sometimes just for the fun of it, but it was always just that.

Maybe I don't know what a relationship is. So I shouldn't be in one.

When the ceremony ends, when we've all had enough of celebrating, because there's nothing to celebrate except the fact that it's over–