Bad Moon

Fast life, Fun night

Benjamin's pov

"I'm sorry." Edward tells me as we walk the trail of the forest behind my house. He keeps a noticeable distance between us. I frown as I glance over at us. Maybe its about why he's been so distant from me?
"About what?" I ask, calm.

No reason to jump to conclusions, remember Edward loves you. "My family and I are leaving Forks." Edward stops walking and looks at me when my heart stops fot a breif moment. "You and you're family?" Dont look at him, don't look at him, don't look at him.

"Yes. We've been in forks almost too long, people are starting to notice." Edward said coolly. "Without me?"

Edward meets my eyes with a cold expression, like he was detached from the situation and my heart kicks into overdrive. How can he look at me like I mean nothing to him? Like what we have is nothing?

"I don't love you, Benjamin. I can't pretend to feel something for you that I longer do." And just like that my heart breaks. As Edward stares at me with a bored expression, I want to lash out.

Scream.

Cry.

Beg.

But he has changed me so much, for the better. My heart aches as I stare at the vampire I love with all of me. I want him happy even if Im sad.

I want him but he doesnt want me.

Im not wanted.

Again.

Edward doesnt want me.

Mother doesnt want me.

Charlie doesnt want me.

I know Bella doesn't want me as a brother.

"Benjamin?" Edward's voice breaks my thoughts and I meet his eyes. If he doesn't want me Ill just leave. "I..." I can feel a lump in my throat so I clear it and look away.

I stare up at the tree tops, rain cooling my face. I imagine flyng to keep my voice steady as I prepare to let go. "I understand. I hope you and your famil the best, I have to go make dinner for me and Charlie." I turn on my heel before he could reply and walked away.

My chest was too tight and I cant get enough air. My eyes sting and I know if I took my hands from my pockets theyd be shaking. A lump clogged my throat and it was hard to walk properly but i did it. I didnt hurt him with biting words. I didnt beg, I let go.

Dont make it harder for him.

----

I sat in the bathroom smoking a blunt, the loud music from the party slightly muffled. Its been 7 months since the Cullens abandoned me and I figure I'm doing fine. Well, Charlie and Bella don't necessarily agree with that statement but they dont know me.

This is normal for me.

I'm fine.

I sigh and put out the blunt grabbing my drink from the side of the tub. Chugging the last of my drink, I swiftly made my way out the bathroom. The hall was crowded with other party goers, causing me to take some time to maneuver myself to the living room.

My date of the night, Rochelle, was sitting on the couch. I lick my lips as I take in her thick thighs and walk over. "Didn't keep you waiting long did I?" I pour us a drink from the punch bowl on the coffee table.

Rochelle smiles seductively and pulls down some more of her shirt, nearly popping out her titties. "Babe those are to weak! You should get something stronger to drink." She stands up at this and walks over, running a finger down my chest. My heart clenches for a moment and I see Edward in the corner of my eye. Your just seeing things again. He isnt there.

Maybe I do need something stonger to forget him. I deserve it. I want fun.

"Trying to tale advantage of me? I joke and grab her waist. "Can yoy take advantage of the willing? Lets grab some of the strong stuff Alyssa hides and ditch this popsicle stand." Rochelle raises in eyebrow invitingly.

"Stay here and try to get drunk off of weak punch oor go with my pretty date?" I pretend to think and she nips at my neck playfully.

See? Im fine. Im having fun forgetting all about you.