My Hero. ( A Raura Story )

Chapter 68.

Laura's POV;

Ross looks at me with a scared look on his eyes, but I feel the urge to know what he has to say or to why he is scared. " Ross, is there something bothering you? " I ask him, stepping closer to him.

I don't know what his problem was. Ever since we got back together yesterday, he's been awfully quiet and that look of fear was in his eyes everytime he looked at me. He was amazingly happy when I forgave him, but I kept asking myself if he's hiding something from me.

" no, i'm fine. " he says, facing away from me with a sigh in his voice. "just scared you might hate me after I tell you what has been eating me alive since yesterday. "

I go and grab his hand from behind and put my chin on his shoulders. " i'm tired of losing you, Ross. No more secrets from now on, okay? So tell me, it'll make you feel better. "

He turns and looks at me in the eyes. He grabs both of my hands and holds them tightly. I could tell he was thinking of the right words to say, or how to say what he wanted to say. I hear a small sigh come out of his mouth, " after you came back here, I went to a bar and I might of gotten drunk. I thought it would make me forget about the pain I was feeling inside. "

" why is this such a big deal? " I ask him.

" you didn't let me finish. " he sighs, looking around the room. I could feel his hands beginning to shake and that's when I began to get worried. " a girl, whom I first I didn't know who she was took me back to my hotel, and when I got there I blacked out. I didn't know what happened, I was completely drunk. B- but when I woke up in the morning I - " he stops.

" you what, Ross? " I ask him, scared of where this might go.

" I can't Laura. I just can't tell you. I'm scared i'll lose you again. I can't go through that pain again, or seeing you get hurt. " he yells out, running his fingers through his head multiple times.

" is it that bad? " I ask him, trying to calm him down.

" I don't know. " he tells me. " she admitted to nothing happening, but the way I had woken up that morning tells another story. I just don't know what to believe. "

" did y'all... " I start, looking him into his brown eyes in worriedness, hoping he would know what i'm asking.

he shakes his head and shrugs slowly. " I just don't know. I just wished I remembered something. "

I look at him wondering how all this could've happened in such a short time. I could see the despiration in his eyes and that's when I realized that he wasn't the same Ross I knew anymore. The guy in front of me was no longer his sweetheart, goofy self. He was now this human begging to be heard and forgiven.

" you hate me, don't you? " he asks me, not daring to look me in the eyes.

I shake my head to assure him that I don't. I know Ross, and even if he was passed out or drunk as he says, he wouldn't do what he feels guilty of. He's not that kind of guy. But I won't feel comfortable until I know the truth.

" I could never hate you. " I say, going to hold his hand. " but until you figure everything out, don't blame me for feeling uncomfortable being next to you. "

" .. so you're saying we need to break up? " he asks, his grip on my hand getting tighter and his face beginning to form a frown.

" no, I already told you I don't want to lose you again. But put yourself in my shoes, you would feel the same way. "

" I understand. " he tells me.

I force a smile at him, and pull him into a hug. I look down at my feet and begin to walk out the door.

He just groans, turns me to face him and lays one of the hottest kisses on my lips he had ever given me. He pushed me against the wall, and slowly slid his hands around my waist. His lips crushed me, taking possession of my very being. I rose into my tip toes to reach him better as I thrust my fingers into his soft, blonde hair. I look into his eyes as I see that they are looking into mine carefully. I break the kiss and give him a soft push away from me, but he presses his body back against mine.

" just promise me you'll let me hold you and kiss you. " he says, in a begging tone.

I keep still for a second, and I could feel myself leaning in again. I stop myself from connecting our lips and I go towards his shoulder. " give me time. " I whisper into his ear, before getting off his grip and walking out the door.

I walk downstairs to Vanessa sitting by herself on the couch eating a chocolate bar. I knew I would get answers from her, and she wouldn't lie to me.

" so is it true? " I ask her, slowly sitting next to her and placing my head against her shoulders.

She stays quiet for a seconds, and gazes upstairs to where my room is. " what did he tell you? " she asks me, turning her attention to me.

" that he might of hooked up with Rosie. " I say, making my throat go dry.

She sighs and shakes her head slowly. " as much as Ross is confused, I am too. When she hollered out that they didn't have sex, the way she said it sounded so real. The way her eyes filled with guilt as she said it gave it all away. I may be wrong, but by her actions I believe she said the truth. "

I lowered my head to the ground and let out a groan. " maybe we shouldn't of gotten back together. What if they did have sex? I don't want to be with someone who cheated on me. "

" I think you should do what you think is best. " she places a hand on my shoulder and gives me a sympathetic glare. She turns her attention back to the t.v screen and gets joined by Riker who had walked in from outside a few seconds ago.

I think to what she said and wonder what's best. As much as I want to be with Ross, I also don't want to be cheated on. Maybe it's best to forget everything and be happy with Ross. Maybe it'll be best to just be friends with Ross until he sorts things out and knows the truth.

This is all just so confusing, but I think I know what's best for me, and everybody else.

I get my butt off the couch and head back upstairs to talk to Ross. As soon as I open the door, the sound of a piece of metal banging against something filled the room. At first I didn't know where it was coming from, but as I turned my eyes to the corner of the room I could see Ross with a rock in his hand banging it against the floor. I didn't question what he was doing, all I did was walk up to him and sit on the floor next to him. He doesn't look at me, but he continues to bang the rock against the floor. I raise his chin up with my hand and that's when I realized he was crying.

I look at him confusely, and wrap my arms tightly around his waist.  He leans his head against my shoulder as I rub his back repeatedly. I could feel his tears beginning to stain my shirt, but ignore it.

" i'm going to lose you. " he speaks up, grabing my hand and interwhining our fingers.

" what are you talking about? " I exclaim as I pull him tighter to me letting him know that he's being ridiculous.

" I can see it in you, Laura. When I kissed you today, it wasn't the same. It felt as if I disgusted you. "

" could you blame me? " I asked.

" just tell me and get it over with. " he snaps, pushing me away from him.

I felt somewhat angry, and saddened as to what he's reffering to. " we should go back to being friends. " I pause. " .. it was a mistake getting back together yesterday. "

" I knew it. " he sadly says. " but what happened to you not wanting to lose me? "

" i'm just doing what's best. " I say.