A life lived as an illusion... This is the dilemma of Alison who woke up from a coma (in chapter Waking Up to Reality Pt1) to the fact that everything she had experienced and lived through was made up. Now she has to accept this fact as she moves on...
Everyone left already and I was scurrying around putting on my clothes and talking to Hanna on the phone as I tell her to take care of Royalty.
''Hanna watch her our school will be packed with people''I said walking to the elevator.
''I know Ali''
''Be careful with the noise around her okay''I said as I walk in the elevator.I look through my bag as my hair cover my face as I look down.
''Bye pls take care of her''I raise my head up and the elevator stops.
''Great''I hear someone mutter.I look up and I at the person and I froze.
Emily POV
I rush out my apartment as I rush to the elevator doors as I put on my shoes.I push open the elevator doors and only one person was in their but I couldn't see their face.i walk in as I fix my hair and my clothes.
''Bye pls take care of her''Was all I heard before the elevator stopped.
''Great''I muttered and the girl next to me looked up and my eyes widen.
''Ali''she looks at me in shock .
''You got to be fucking kidding me''She said as she realized what happened.
''Ali ''I said as she walks to the buttons and slams her hand on it.
''Don't step closer''she said as she gave me a warning gaze.
''You know what you are gonna listen and I'M GONNA TALK''She said looking square at me.
''Heart break is a funny thing. We all know it's going to happen, yet we're never prepared for it. We underestimate it's power. It's like giving a murder a gun, and expecting not to be killed. Why are we never ready for it? Because we're in denial. We believe it won't happen. We believe the murderer will not kill us. We believe if we give him our hearts he will not crush it. Hearts shouldn't be crushed. They should be cherished and protected. I wish someone would have told you that. I wish you could've known. I wish you would have cherished and protected my heart.
Love is just a dilemma people tend to believe in. I have observed that people use this term to actually cover up their actual concern. Loneliness is what you get out of it; it makes your life miserable, breaks your heart into thousand pieces and still each broken part of your heart misses her like your heart missed her as whole. It keeps you obsessed with her, you just miss her face her eyes her smile her scent all the time knowing that you are never going to get her again. Life becomes vulnerable as you are enslaved by her thoughts, you try to be normal but you just can't. Each and every thing seems meaningless, at starting everything looks extraordinary and ecstatic but at the end you are left with nothing except agony and emptiness.
You raped my soul and crushed everything I fought so hard to build.I know you raped Aria, I know you fucked Camila but I was blind and I thought I couldn't live with out you.
Once you were my sunshine, the one for whom I lit from the inside. I used to feel a frisson of love even if my thoughts turned your way for only a moment. The image of your face once conjured my smile; I would yearn to dive into your eyes. I would have done anything you asked, given you whatever you wished for.
I know they say people turn on the one they feel safest with, make them the target instead of those that might warrant it. But I can't forget what you did, what you said, what you thought is was alright to do to me. With a gun to my head I would never have done those things to you. I would have rather died. So to know how worthless my love was to you is the knife that sets me free, cuts the mooring rope. And I'm better off this way, adrift from your shore, safer.
Thank you for breaking me; isn't that a line from Sinead O'Connor? I never understood it before. It used to sound like permission, albeit retroactive, to hurt someone. I get it now. Only a lover can wound so deep, cut to the very core. That level of trauma has to be an inside job. You broke me and watched me bleed. You saw me fail to eat, fail to sleep, and you kept on the pressure with your lies and manipulations, increasing the level of cruelty as you went. After all that, what can there be left underneath but the untouchable part of me, my soul, the girl you can never hurt. I can't be more raw than that, more exposed, more pure. So thank you, because as Sinead said, "now I have a strong, strong heart, thank you, thank you for breaking my heart."
Emily, the heartbreak I endured was no less than a hurricane. The devastation was absolute, our emotional home levelled, torn apart. There is nothing for us to return to. We stand together and alone. When I reach inside of myself I find that what is left is raw but solid, a strong foundation to build a new life upon, a peaceful one. I have a chance to only allow in those that are kindred to my spirit, that nurture and love. I'm wiser; I know for whom the doors must always be locked. It is a chance for change and renewal, an opportunity to grow and learn. Though the loss of you was once was my nightmare, I can breathe once more. I can see the light of the new day even when all else is dark. There are more dreams to come for you and I, sunshine on rainy days, laughter and silliness, just not together. I wish you happiness, joy and love. I hope you wish the same for me ''
''Forgive me please, I miss you''
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''You fucking inconsiderate pig''
''What''i SAID.
''I POURED MY HEART TO YOU AND ALL YOU COULD SAY IS I MISS U''
''What do you want me to say''
''You no what don't bother she said as she walked to the other corner of the room.
''Let me show you how I can make it up to you''
''What''she said before I cut her up with a kiss.
''Emily not everything is about sex and kisses''she said disgusted as she wiped her lips.
''I thin you have to reach deep within yourself and find the old Emily cause that's the only Emily I love''she said and as soon as she said that the elevator doors open and she ran out.Leaving me there with a shock.
