Hold On (S.M.)✔

T H I R T Y O N E

Shawn:

I started to just look over my book, waiting for Annabeth to get out of the doctors office. I wonder what she's doing. Is this like a regular check up, or is she hiding something from me? I wonder if maybe it has to do with London...

I still really don't understand why she hasn't told me why she moved. I feel like if I start pestering her, I'd be a very annoying boyfriend... Wait, I already am... Okay so more annoying.

I just sighed and tried to connect the dots. It just didn't fit. I was still missing a lot of things from the puzzle. As I struggled to remember, the passenger side door swung open and Annabeth huffed in.

I looked over with a smile but it dropped when I saw her. Her head was leaned back, eyes closed and teeth sunk into her lips. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Can we go home now" she asked, her voice muffled by her hands

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked completely concerned about what was going on

She looked at me, her hurt and sorrow filled eyes piercing right into me causing my heart to skip several beats.

"Shawn, not right now.. Please" she mumbled before looking out the window

I sighed and turned on the car, thinking on why she's like this.. She would tell me. She trust me.. I'm sure.

~*~

***TRIGGER WARNING PROCEDE WITH CAUTION***

A month later:

Annabeth:

*Skydive

*Jump into a pond with only my bra and underwear on

*Tell everybody how much I love them

*Scuba dive

*Visit an amusement park

These were all the things on my bucket list I was creating. My things I wanna do before I die. I set the pen down and rubbed my eyes. Its been a month now and I still have not gotten any sleep. I've been.... Been to busy thinking about the consequences of my death.

Shawn would probably have a heart attack, Max would have to take up my role and responsibility as heir to the throne, my friends would probably be sent into a state of depression...

The more I thought the more stressed out I was. My eyes began to droop and I got up with a start. I still had tons of homework to do... Ugh, stay awake Anna stay AWAKE! I made my way into the bathroom where I grabbed a hold of the side of the sink. My body was weak, I felt myself growing tired and weary.

I shook my head, rolling up my sleeves so I wouldn't get them wet as I turned the faucet on and wet my face, waking up my tired eyes. I looked up at myself in the mirror. I looked pathetic. There were dark circles under my eyes, my skin as pale as usual, my lips were dry and the color in my eyes seemed to be going dull.

My eyes then trailed down to the skinny thing I called a body. I was so thin, and unhealthily light. I looked so fragile and small. But that's when I looked at my arms. The small marks from a long time ago when I held a blade to my wrist and cut myself. Thinking I was worthless, just a piece of garbage. I thought of all the names I was called before in my old school.

All the struggles I went through. My fingers traced over the old cuts and then onto the more recent ones. Christmas should've been a happy time for me. Shawn was my loving boyfriend, I got all that I could ever wish for. But my family was missing, the people I loved most were gone. So I did it again. I brought the blade back at my arms and did it again.

And I was used to it. I kinda enjoyed the moment when all I could concentrate on was the blade piercing my skin and letting some blood trickle out. I thought of all my worry's going along with the blood as it dripped down onto the sink. Just the thought of it sounded good right about now.

I was dying already. I was just about to turn 17 and I was dying. All the people I would let down... I struggled with my self. One day Shawn's going to find out and hes going to be upset Annabeth, don't do it. But... But I gave in. I trembled as I picked up the razor in the bathroom and took the blade apart. It cut one of my fingers in the process, but who cares.

I continued to tremble as I brought it to my arm like all the times before, and let the blade sink in. Not to deep, but just enough. I began to tear up at the pain, the enjoyable but hurting pain. Memories of my family rushed in just as fast as the blood trickled out.

All I could think about was Shawn... Shawn, my caring, loving boyfriend. Shawn, the one who loved me most. Shawn, the one who will always be by my side. Shawn that I lied to. The one who is going to feel like the most betrayed person in the world...

I slammed the blade down on the sink and began to sob, sagging to floor and clutching my wrist. I had to face the facts. I wasn't the girl everybody thought I was. I wasn't the happy, pretty, honest, caring and loving girl everybody thought I was.

I was really a insecure, broken, hurting teenage girl who was dying and hurting herself which also affected the people around her. I was an orphan, and that's as much as I thought of myself as. And I don't think anyone could change that.

Ever

~*~

Dante:

I walked down the street towards Georgia's house. Annabeth and I have been talking for sometime now and I think its time I pay her a visit. Yet it still haunted me, what I had done. I was also worried about her. Lately when she's been going to school she falls asleep In classes, stumbles over herself, and wheezes... A lot.

She looked so weak, I could practically sense there was something bad going on. When I asked Shawn about it he said he was worried also, but I had a feeling Annabeth wouldn't tell anyone, maybe just me. I worriedly jogged up the front steps and just walked in. Georgia was working and Shawn was it his own house, so that meant Annabeth was alone.

"Annabeth?!" I called out, this house was huge, I don't know why Georgia got it

"Annabeth!?" I called out again, no response

I went up the stairs and began to head towards her room. That's when I heard it, quiet sobs. My breathing grew heavy as I walked into her room to find it a mess, but no one is sight. The sobs came again and I looked to the bathroom which's door was partially opened. I carefully made my way to the door and pushed it to find Annabeth bawling tears. She was curled up in a corner near the bath tub, blood trailed on the floor and where it started was the blade of a razor. There was blood on the sink and on her hands.

She had done it. She started it back up again. The cutting, the hurting. She felt like no one loved her when tons of people did. I rushed to her side, just for her to turn to me and burry her face into my chest like all the times before. But what hurt me most was that she broke her promise...

Her promise to me. She swore to me, and she broke it.

I begged her not to cut herself again and yet here I was, cradling her as she cried, a towel wrapped around her wrist like the times before.

She broke her promise.

She cut herself again.

~*~

Yes I just wrote that.. Anyways thanks for getting Hold On to 440 reads! I think its more then that, but I'm to lazy to check. Anyways, I will be going on a week long vacation and I don't know how much ill be able to write and upload so if I don't update as fast as I used to, then you know why. Love yah!