𝙃𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙎 ⊳ 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨

xxxv. 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝

(   CARL LEARNS ABOUT THE MODERN WORLD.   )
carl grimes.

warnings:
a LOT of swearing

word count:
749

author's note:
oKAY so i thought of this
while studying for my
social studies quiz and i
thought, 'why not do it? i
already have weird asf
imagines.
so this will be a weird series
where i teach 'carl' about
the modern world yeah boi.
let's get it poppin' *claps*

─── • ° *｡✧ ───

carl: *arrives* so, what did you want to talk about?

me: *turns around and grins evilly*

carl: sHiT bYe *tries to leave but i block the door* damn, for a short girl, you're fast

me: *whispers* that's what he said

carl: *makes a disgusted and uncomfortable face*

me: *smacks his shoulder* stop fucking insulting me for being shorter than you *crosses arms and scowls at him*

carl: aw, is shortie mad at me?

me: STOP TEASING ME OR ELSE YOU WON'T LEAVE THIS HOUSE WITH A PAIR OF LEGS

carl: *shuts up*

me: gOOD *grabs his arm and drags him to the couch*

carl: what the fuck, i thought you liked your crush?

me: shut the fuck up and sit your ass down, asshole

carl: geez, all you had to do was ask *sits*

me: *brings a macbook, iphone, and mp3 player in front of him*

carl: uhm what is this?

me: this is what you've been missing

3 HOURS LATER

me: now, do you understand?

carl: uhm i guess...?

me: then hand me the macbook

carl: *hands me a macaroni that was sculpted into a book*

me: wTf CaRL, I SAID MACBOOK BOI

carl: but that's what you said, a macbook

me: THE LAPTOP, YOU IDIOT

carl: *stares at the top of his lap*

me: oMFg, I THOUGHT YOU FOR HOW MANY HOURS AND YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND??

carl: no, i understand completely

me: *death glares at him*

carl: *puts his arms up in surrender* i don't understand shit

me: fine, give me my iphone please

carl: *grabs iphone and opens it but accidentally calls crush*

me: *hears ringing* what is that? *turns around* nO *tries to grab phone but carl tiptoes and holds the phone up in the air*

carl: i'll give it back to you when you get it from me *runs away*

me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? *runs after him* CARL, GET BACK HERE AND GIVE ME MY PHONE AND STOP RUNNING INSIDE MY GODDAMN HOUSE. IF YOU BREAK SOMETHING, I'LL SELL YOU TO EBAY. I SWEAR, IF YOU— *hears crush's voice*

crush (on the phone): hey annie!! what's up?

me: OH MY GOD, CARL GET BACK HERE

carl: hey *insert crush's name*, this is carl. i'm annie's friend and i'm calling to tell you that annie is in love with you!

me: SHUT UP, CARL. NOBODY ASKED FOR YOU

crush: *laughs* is that so?

carl: yeah. she's too shy to tell you that bc she fears that it might break your friendship. also, she wants to ask you to prom

me: I FUCKING SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T STOP RUNNING AND STOP TALKING, I'LL LUCILLE YOU MYSELF

crush: really? *laughs* i would love to go to prom with her

carl: thanks, man. make her happy and if you ever break her heart, i'm coming after you

crush: no problem, man.

carl: *ends the call*

me: *finally catches up to carl, glaring at him and before i snatched my phone from him, he holds it up again* *groans* are we really doing this again? you know that i'm not that fast anymore

carl: nah, i'm tired. before you get your phone back, you should thank me

me: *crosses arms and raises an eyebrow at him* and why is that?

carl: i asked him to prom for you

me: yOU WhAt?? *raises fist but pulls back and smiles at him* thanks

carl: *places a hand to his chest and sighed in relief* i thought you were going to punch me

me: *punches his arm*

carl: oW THAT HURTS *clutches his arm* I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND *cries dramatically*

me: i am, you dumbass but that's what you get for running off with my phone *walks to the living room with carl and flops down on the couch* okay, we are done with today

carl: *sighs in exhaustion* sure *high fives me* you're still short tho

me: one more and i'm done with you

─── • ° *｡✧ ───

don't ask me why i did
this bc idk also lmao

last updated:
july 17, 2020