Reflections - Review Requests

14. Off the Grid (TU)

Title : Off the Grid

Author : calmingfire

Genre : The Unknown

Reviewed by : 

The first thing, I loved was cover which is professional and inviting. The title and blurb equally justify the story line.

Next, comes A/N which is quite long but deemed appropriate due to the ground rules for reading the story. Still, I would suggest to chip off the excess details.

I have some input for the prelude which also has long paragraphs. They need to go apart. It seems that too much is happening in a blur which might confuse the readers. A tip for this would be to give a little briefing of the previous background for this scene in a sentence or two.

Sadly, the master doesn't come out to be as one. Instead, gives the aura of a soothsayer or a paper Master.  If this is also a twist, scratch this suggestion. You can add some attributes to his character building. I was not impressed by his predictable speech. It needs some serious brushing. Only thing which saved the chapter was his last statement.

Now, the story, though this could go anyway. But, you made it go to highway. The USP is the female protagonist. Yes, she is human and we feel it.  You make her a badass or a kill machine. But, the word play from here on becomes so exciting. The adrenaline spike and on the top of it her monologues and the concept of humming tunes. The cliff hangers at the end. It is a really good CRAZY idea.

Her combat need filings. You need to show the readers all the symbols of a fight.

At times, the chapter confuses a bit, as you rush through leaving awkward sentences in wake. You need to keep an eye on grammar to solidify the dynamics of the story. Her chase from pillar to post seems cliché. I would advise you to go round the kitchen window and experiment with her detective urges.

Overall, the story is satisfying. Though, readers being craving thrills who want more and more.

I would give this story 9/10 and recommend to all the readers who never miss action.