Reflections - Review Requests

55. Who Are You (LB)

Title: Who Are You

Author: @creativeleaf 

Genre: Love Ballad

Reviewer: fanna-tastic

A mature-rated story that revolves around Jeremy and Patience, one of which drastically changes from an incident, and the other tries their best to bring them back.

The title is intriguing and doesn't give away the entire story but does sound like a typical romance book. No matter what the world says about not judging a book by the cover, it's a hard truth that a pleasing cover attracts readers, at least on here. I would strongly recommend revamping the current one or requesting a new one from the tons of talented designers on here. The blurb is fine too. I like how it keeps the characters a mystery and the reader doesn't immediately know who's the one changing and who's the one trying to get them back together.

As for the plot, it revolves around a couple, one of which is traumatized and the other is determined to help their better-half get over the entire incident. It definitely makes up for a really good romance book since it majorly focuses on the emotions brewing between the characters, and of course, better the emotions, better will be the relationship. However, it does look overused and (I can only speak for the first five chapters I've read through) repetitive. Maybe the end is surprising, but with the limited reading I could do, it doesn't seem cliche breaking to me.

Sometimes a cliche plot can be overlooked if the writing is different; but the frequent grammar errors, consistent incorrect punctuation and repetitive tense switch makes it a bit difficult to enjoy. Apart from these, the excessive usage of exclamation marks was unnecessary and capitalized dialogues should be avoided unless the person to hear is really far away from the speaker. Hiring an editor can help you polish the ideas sprinkled on the paper.

A third person narration is a good choice as it helps to enter the minds of both the characters but it's important to use it to your complete advantage; there are all sorts of feelings and emotions being mentioned but none of them are described. Being a narrator gives the author an upper hand to describe the setting, expressions, gestures, dialogues, feelings, etc. so make sure to use it.

All in all, the ideas are creative and it might make for a good read once the errors are worked upon. Until then, it doesn't seem absolutely cliche breaking to me. All the best for your story because it does seem to have immense potential.