Title: I want my sister back
Author: Fantasy4Evadays
Genre: The Unknown
Reviewed by:
When you click onto profile of the story, you find a good hook in description. The title and cover goes along giving a creepy pasta. The story skips into action straight away and gives a peek into the conflicting life of these two sisters. We get to know the good time spent and the bond that they both share. The first two chapters make readers gain association with the characters. What had me troubled were the spoilers here and there which took away the concept of suspense altogether as similar to the fake scares.
Unfortunately, I was unable to make out the next chapters. It needs some serious clarification. Though, the grammar, spellings and punctuation remains a thorn throughout. I would suggest to proofread the story and remove them. Italics are used for thoughts directed as dialogues even if a monologue. The rest of the script should stay in the general font.
After that the story seems like getting onto the roller- coaster at a lethal speed. I would advise to give some detailing like how her sister landed up into the house and so on. You should tweak around the description of the story setting in the later chapters.
The story does have scares sprinkled around but it is quite difficult to understand as reader who did what and why. The concept and the ideas are a plus but the story needs thoughtful work in sequence of the events.
I hope this review helps to make your story cliché-proof and turns out to be a real seat-gripper.
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