THE GIANT GUY

Where's my Cheetos you stupid dumb Giant Guy?

"Where the hell are you? Did you slip in the bathroom again or something?", I shout earning no response.

I walk into my bedroom slowly and find him sleeping on the bed.

"You stupid dumb Giant Guy! I asked you to bring my daily dose of Cheetos and here you are sleeping peacefully!", I swat him on his head making him jerk up in shock.

"You will give me a heart attack with that loud voice of yours.", he says pulling me to sit next to him.

"Momma nanny and nana are arguing again!", a small squeaky voice calls from the doorway.

"Mom. When will you ever stop arguing with dad? You are sixty years old for God's sake. Grow up mom." none other than my lovely daughter Sia is standing at the door with my lovely granddaughter Riah alongside.

"How dare you call her sixty? She's just twenteen. Don't you know?", my lovely husband comes to my rescue.

I kiss the Giant on his cheek. My lovely hubby. He hands me my Cheetos and I kiss him again.

"God! Will you people stop making out? Eww!", that's Clara for you. That teensy weensy girl has grown up into a mommy.

"Uncle J. How are you?", Clara asks so kindly and I hit her on her back.

"Your Uncle will always be great till he's with me. I will always take good care of him. So you better ask me how I am before you ask him how he is doing!", I lecture her.
The door bell rings after a few minutes and a few people enter the home. Without my lovely glasses I could make out 3 figures enter the door. Where did I put my glasses again?

"Here!", my husband walks to me handing my glasses. He is the sweetest thing ever. Mwah. I think I kissed the wall instead of him. I must first wear my specs.

Wait! Who are these people?

Don't tell me that shortie old lady is Vida!

Don't tell me that the tall wrinkly man is Titus.

Don't tell me that the last flag pole is Tom.

Why are they even here?

I walk to the living and they blast the party poppers.

"HAPPY SIXTY TWYLA!", they all yell in unison making me jerk back in surprise.

WAIT! Sixty? Did I not tell them I'm no more than Twenteen?

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! I'M NOT SIXTY. I'M TWENTEEN!", I shout so loudly that Tom falls on the couch in shock.

"Um. Let's remove the forty candles from the cake." says the Vida like looking lady.

"God! Guys is that you! Tom, Vida, Titus!", my eyes start sweating and the tears flow automatically. What's with me and senti today?

We get in a group hug and I pull Giant inside too. My eye sweat doesn't seem to cease so I let it flow.

I and Giant start blowing out the twnty candles one by one earning a death glare from all the people in the room. Finally the take the cake and try to smash it on my face. I squat making the cake travel past me to hit my husband square in the face. What a sight?

But wait!

But!

But!

THAT'S MY CAKE!

I make a giant leap to my Giant guy, tackling him with my giant old legs and pull him down to the Giant couch. I start licking his face tasting my yummy delicacy.

"God you're gross!", my daughter winces with all others agreeing with her. I try to stand up to give them a comeback but my granny waist is held tight by the Giant Guy. I look at his face and he smirks at me.

Suddenly his lips turn down into a sad one. What is happening?

"Wake up Twyla. My hand hurts. You've been sleeping on my hand all night long aaah!", he moans into my ears.

I sit upright in my bed rubbing my eyes.

"Look at that mess of a hair. I bet all those weird extinct birds and insects can breed in there.", he says sitting up flexing his hands.

"Why are you so silent today? Talk something you dummy.", he pushes me forward.

"You better shut up before I blow in your face. I haven't even washed up my mouth." I say still smiling.

"You look scary with that smile plastered onto your face. What is that going on inside that big useless head of yours?", he asks earning a thousand watts smile from me.

How is that I even named my unborn child and grandchild in my dream? I must be a genius. I have the most wonderful and amazing brain than anyone on Earth.

"I had a dream. Wait! WHERE'S MY DAILY DOSE OF CHEETOS YOU STUPID DUMB GIANT GUY?", I start jumping in my bed.

"It is not even morning yet. Get yourself off the bed and brush your stinky teeth you dummy face. Smiling like a oaf.", he says trying to kick me off the bed.

I quickly grab the sides of his face and kiss him. In no more than half a minute I push him off making him slip down the bed. I start laughing.

"Now you stink too. And I'm not a dummy you dumbass. Close your mouth before flies find a place in there. And under the bed there's something for you."

"Woah! Is that a cake, a brownie? Wow. You made this for me? Wow. Wait! Where's the half of it? Did some rats eat it?", he asks looking at me.

"This cake is for our first anniversary and I made it yesterday. And the half of it I just ate it at night because I felt hungry.", I say making my way to the bathroom.

"Thank you.", he pecks my cheek and runs to the bathroom closing the door at my face. Did he just leave me out? Did he just race me?

"Yah! Are you even a good husband? You make your wife stand outside the bathroom. God you're so frustrating!", I yell at him.

He hands me my Cheetos to shut me up.

My stupid dumb Giant Guy! Grow up dude. You're going to be a father soon.

••••••••

My one and only friend kimsona is writing a new book in humour with the title "BOSS: Bachelor Of Sarah's Secrets" . Make sure you check it out coz it is indeed going to trend the what's hot list in a few days.

Ah! Finally! The next chapter is revealing who is Twyla.

Double update so I need kisses!

Read on.