Judge Me Not

There's Something About Ally by ThreeHundredFlowers(Reviewed by JanBear_04)

Title- There's Something About Ally

Author- ThreeHundredFlowers

Genre- Romance & Teen-Fiction

Rating- PG-13

Synopsis- It happened one night. That's all it took. On New Year's Eve, when everyone else was making resolutions for the new year, Alexandra Hart was falling in love. Not just lightly falling, falling head first with her heart extended. But she has a secret. She's a police officer. Ally has just been assigned the case that could make or break her: to go undercover as a high school student. So what happens when the man she loves is her 'teacher'? Will she blow her cover and jeopardise the drug-bust of the century? Read and find out!

Review- 

I think you did a pretty good job accomplishing the goal of hooking your readers in with this chapter. Bravo for your cliff hanger! That was pretty amazing! Lol, although your story plot/idea has been used multiple times before you have definitely shown us the twist you've added in just the first chapter. I think the idea is outstanding and is something many teens have come across before. I know I have and it can be a scary situation but it's also reassuring to know that there's someone getting to the bottom of the trouble. 

7 pages for your first chapter I think many have been a bit too much. Maybe you should break it off into two separate chapters because 7 pages can be scary. It's really up to you but it wasn't that big of an issue for me only because there wasn't many huge paragraphs that overwhelmed me, thinking about I think you did a nice job spacing them out. Also I think you have have moved a bit fast with your pacing but it wasn't completely also. Maybe you should have stopped the chapter where Ally wrote the note to Ryan or just after that and then continued with the school day in the 2nd chapter. Just a small suggestion but really your choice.

Your dialogue was also very realistic and seemed to fit each character perfectly. You brought the right tone to your work and gave us some information about all of the characters which I liked. They all seem very relate able and even though they are adults, young teenagers I think can relate to their personalities. I also really liked the insights you provided us with. Ally's inner thoughts was something that had me laughing a bit and I thought that was good. Another thing I found that I enjoyed very much would have to be your descriptions and details. I really liked them a lot and I could picture things quite nicely due to them. 

Overall I think you did an amazing job and I hope you continue!

Rating- 8/10

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By-JanBear_04/Janaka

*If you would like to read this story it will be in my library(Reviewed Books)  or the WattiesUnited library!