Broken

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After the recording was done I made breakfast for me and Jin.

" Y/n again you didn't have to make this. I normally just get cereal." he said.

" Yes I did. You let me stay in your home so I need to do something nice. That is just how I work." I answered.

" Okay sure. But I put the dishes away. Okay?" he asked.

" Good. I need to go to work anyway. Can you drive me to work please?" I asked.

He laughed, grabbed his jacket, and said " let's go"

" Yay! Let's go" I said.

He laughed again and said " Man you must be the only person happy to go to work."

" Well the people there are amazing and my job is fun" I said walking to the door.

" Yeah YouTube is a fun job." he said walking to the door and opening it for me.

" Yeah it isn't the job I thought I would be doing. But I'm glad I am doing it." I told him as he locked the door and we started to walk to the car.

" Yeah if you weren't in YouTube we would never have meet. Speaking of how did you and the guys meet?" he asked when we got to the car.

" Um it is kind of a hard story for me so can I tell you when we start driving?" I asked as we got in the car.

" Sure" he said.

" Thank you" I said as I started to think what exactly I was going to tell him.

" So we are driving now can you tell me. You don't have to tell me if it is to personal" he said keeping his eyes on the road.

" No I need to tell my other best friends. Actually I think I should tell Ross, Max, and Barney too. So do you think you could come in? That way I only have to tell it once. Please?" I asked.

" Yes. Of course." he said.

" Great. Thank you." I said.

The rest of the drive was quite. I know that the rest of the people at the offices are my friends but my close ones are Jin, Red, Barney, Ross, Max, Jin, and Adam. Plus it hurts to much to say this to everyone. Now that I think of it maybe just Max and Barney. Of course Jin but I don't really trust Ross yet. I think he is a really nice guy but I just haven't had enough time to get to know him. Maybe we can go to lunch or something. I don't trust Jin, Barney, max, Red, or Adam they just have a right to know. They have been more than nice to me. Red and Barney let me into there house. Max became like my best friend. Next to Red of course. And Adam let me stay at the offices. And Jin has also let me stay and he just made me feel happy on one of the days I felt the worse. These people have seen me at my worst and picked me up the best they could. I am a broken girl and no one can fix me. My dad brought me to hell. When he left I was able to only get so far before he brought me back down. And he knows that he did that to me. He may be mean but he isn't stupid. When he left he knew he didn't have to be there physically to bring me back down. He had broken me enough that I did it all by myself. And this is what happens when I go into my hole.

" Jin stop the car. I mean stop the car a the park please I want to walk the rest of they way to the office. To think of what I want to say to you and the guys." I lied. I wanted to go off to the trail and think.

" Oh okay we are almost there. I'll tell you when we are there. Do you want me to walk with you?" he asked.

" No. No I want to be alone so I can think. Please?" I asked.

" Sure. No problem. See you at the offices." he said parking in the parking lot. I got out and waved as he got out.

" I'm sorry" I whispered as he drove off.

I started to walk to the trails. When I got to the beginning of them I got a phone call. It was Adam. I ignored and started to run to my hiding place.

Jin's POV. Just as he got to the office.

I just pulled into the office. She should be here soon. I mean the park isn't that far away from here. I walked into the building and up to the offices.

" Adam. Are you here?" I called from the door.

" Hey Jin are you here with y/n?" he asked coming to the door.

" Yes I am. She said she had something to tell me, Ross, Barney, and Max." I answered.

" Is she at the car or where is she?" he asked when he saw she was not with me.

" Oh she said wanted to walk the rest of the way." I said.

His face dropped " What. Did you let her do that?"

" Yes." I said. The I noticed his face " Why was that wrong?" I asked.

" Yes it is. When you first meet her it was after she ran off. She is doing it again. You let her run off. We need to call her" he said reaching for his phone.

" Adam I'm sorry. I didn't know." I said.

" It's okay. You didn't know. Dang it she isn't answering! Jin please go tell everybody that y/n has run off again." he asked as he started to walk off somewhere.

" Okay" I said as I walked off to tell everyone.

Your POV

I was crying. I need to tell Red. Maybe he can help.

Red= R you=Y

Y: Hey Red.

R: Hey y/n. Are you coming to work soon?

Y: That will be answered soon.

R: Okay? Then how- Oh hey Jin.

I heard talking on the other side.

R: y/n where are you. Jin just told me. Please tell me.

Y: No Red. I wanted to talk to you. Just let me talk.

R: Okay talk.

Y: You know about my dad. For as long as I could let me remember he made my life a living hell-

R: Y/n I know but he is in jail.

Y: Please don't interrupt me this important. Now I didn't realize how bad it was till I had a moment to think. Like I said living hell. When ever I was able to get out even just a little he would pull me back in. And when he left I thought I could get out for good. Turns out I was wrong. And what he has been doing for the longest time is training me to bring myself back down. Don't you understand. I will never be able to get out. He may be gone from my eyes. But he is still with me in my brain. I know it sounds weird but he is there in my brain telling me that I'm a disappointment, an embarrassment, a nothing. And that is what I will always be in my brain. I hope this lets you understand me more after hearing this. I'm sorry.
After that I hung up. Then all I did was cry. I cried and cried. I got many calls from the guys and texts. I just ignored them. I need them to understand me more. I am a broken girl and nothing will ever fix that. And all I want is for them to see that. Why can't they just see that ? Then I had an idea. I made a thread of Adam, Jin, Barney, Red, max, Ross, and Tim. Then I sent them this text. I am who I am and who I am is broken.

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