Is This Really What You Want? (Multiple Ship FanFic)

Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have (Ryan's POV)

~2009~

Well, it's been another few years and things were going great! For the most part anyway... Anyway, Dallon and Breezy are doing great with Amelie. They actually moved here to Nevada to be closer to everyone and so Dallon wouldn't have to travel back and fourth between Breezy, Amelie, and Brendon. That was nice, I suppose. Panic! is doing good, great actually. We have so many fans, which is amazing and I love it. The only thing I hate is that so many fans ship Brendon and I together... Ever since Dallon came back into the picture, I've been thrown to the sidelines. I'm not mad about what they have together again, I just miss Brendon. A lot...

"Hey, are you ok?" Jon asked, noticing I was in my own little world.

"Yeah," I said.

"No you're not," he said.

"Yes, I am," I said.

"Ryro," he said.

"Jesus fucking Christ! I'm fine!" I shouted.

I got up from the couch and retreated to the game room in his house. I'd been staying with Jon for a few days now because I couldn't handle anything with everyone else anymore. Honestly, my relationship with Brendon had been a little strained lately, so that's why I was here. Things just hadn't been the same.

Jon appeared in the doorway a few minutes later and came in and sat down by me.

"Ry, tell me what's wrong," he said.

"Things just aren't the same. Things aren't like they used to be. I miss Brendon and everything we used to do together. I was so glad when we became friends again, now it's like I don't even know him. He's also becoming the face of this band, which pisses me off. I think he's letting the fame get to him too much. He's not the same Brendon he used to be, and frankly, I don't want any part of it," I explained.

"Ryan," Jon said.

"What?" I asked.

"I feel the same," he said.

"Seriously?" I asked.

In all reality, I was shocked. I've been feeling this way for a few weeks now and hadn't had the nerve to tell anyone, but now that Jon felt the same, I started to open up to him more and more.

"I feel like Brendon has changed a lot too and I don't like it. I mean I'm glad he's happy with Dallon and his life, but it's affecting others." Jon said.

"I agree one hundred percent. And things with practicing and even writing with him is getting really difficult. It's like he doesn't want to hear anything that anyone else is saying and it pisses me off. It's like he's shutting everyone else out," I said.

"Want to know what I've been thinking?" he asked.

"What?" I asked.

"I've been thinking of leaving the band," he said.

"Honestly, I have too," I said. "I don't know if I can handle much of this anymore. I mean the constant fighting with Brendon and Dallon, the not being able to get anything done because of the fighting, and everything else. It's hard."

"I completely agree," Jon said.

"Jon, I-I think we should leave Panic!," I said.

"I think so too," he said. "I mean we can always do solo things."

"So, we're leaving? We're done?" I asked.

"I am," he said.

"Me too," I said. "Goodbye Panic!."

*A/N* Sorry for the title again. Stupid 80 characters thing again... Anyway, I just wanted to say that I DO NOT think of Brendon that way at all. He's an amazing guy and one of my idols. Just needed to get that out of the way.~