THE GIANT GUY

EIGHTEEN WAYS TO FREAK OUT AND DIE

"If I die soon, I'll have your name engraved on my stone stating that you caused my death!", I say sadly.

"There goes the Giant Guy's number!", he says ignoring my death wish and sliding the phone in my jeans back pocket.

He touched my ASS! He touched my pretty ass. How dare he!

"YAH! WHY THE HELL DID YOU TOUCH MY BACK WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!", there there mission accomplished. Now the entire market is looking at us. Wait! They are admiring me! Hell yeah!

"Because you got a nice behind sweetheart!", he comes closer and whispers against my ear.

Okay! Now I should set up an extra brain to stop all organs freaking out.

By the time he turns and walks away I realize that I have serious issues with my heart, lungs and my senses. Also brain malfunction. I must be dying because of the photographs he took. That must be it! I'm dying! Yay! Let's celebrate.

"Hello there sweetheart!", I spin on my heels when I hear the oh so familiar voice. Please tell me it's not disaster.

"Claire! What are you doing here?", I walk to her who was flirting with a passer by.

"Duh! Flirting, what else? Who are you by the way?", way to go Twyla. She's here to eat your brains off.

"I'm Twyla Whatever obviously!", I say earning a weird glance from the man who she was speaking with. He thankfully turns and walks away. He looks like a Moschino model. What's with guys and Moschino?

"Oh yeah! My daughter-in-law!", Great!

"Yeah of course!", I sing with her.

"Auntie Twyla! Momma, nanny is here with Auntie Twyla!", I spin around to see baby Clara running at me. I give her a glare.

"I'm not Auntie! Call me Twyla! Okay hon!", I lift her and spin her around. She's such a bubbly bubble.

"But Uncle asked me to call you Auntie!", she pouts. I try to open my mouth to ask her about who her uncle is but I'm cut off.

"Hello there Twyla! How are you?", that's Giant's sister we met at the fair. I reply her and we turn in time to glare at Clara.

"Mom, haven't I told you not to go around all alone!", she scolds Clara who hangs her head down.

"Auntie you're farting!", Clara says from my arms.

"That's my phone love! Whoever is calling can wait!", I laugh at the bubbly bubble.

"Twyla! Mom! Jayna! Clara!", he says as if naming us. Giant is back with a blast!

Let's not look at how hot his leather pants moulds his thighs or how smart he looks in black. Let's not look at the Giant because too much saliva in my mouth to swallow.

"Mom! She just came out without letting us know and we've been hunting her!", Jayna or the Giant's sis face palms herself.

They all leave with Clara calling me to take care of her Uncle.

"What did you tell Clara about me?", I spin to meet his blue eyes. He looks at me his eyes glowing.

"About how hot mess you are! Eh! I just told her about how crazy you are!", he smirks coming closer.

"You stink of cockroaches and rain drops and hot chocolate. Buy me a hot chocolate!"

••••••

"VIDA! I'M HOME GURL!", I yell at the top my lungs making a dramatic entrance. She would jump in fright.

No response?! Like really?