Black // Marauders

33. The Order

"Sirius, calm down!" Remus sighed, getting up from his refuge of the past twenty minutes - sat on one the stone benches by the hospital wing and absentmindedly staring out at the snow falling past the huge windows placed behind each one. He went to pat his hand on his friend's back before Sirius turned back to face him and he took a step back at his sudden movement. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy and his cheeks were red from all the strain of trying to batter a huge door down, "Don't touch me, Moony."

"I will do what I want and not a thing more," Remus replied, folding his arms before giving him a look and dropping his arms, "Please calm down."

"She could be dead, Remus." Sirius muttered, his hair hanging over his face where he hadn't bothered to push it back as he turned to walk to a bench, before Remus frowned, "Pads, she's not-"

"You don't know that?!" Sirius screamed, turning back around to face his friend, "She told me. She told me she was. She told me, the love of my life lay there on the ground and told me she was thought she was dying and I couldn't do anything to save her!" He roared, pounding a fist against the wall as he sobbed on to cold stone as Remus came to behind him and looked at him cautiously as if deciphering whether it would be safe to approach him, "Just leave me alone, Moony." He sobbed, his voice cracking as he tried to steady his breathing.

"I can't leave you, Sirius. You're one of my best friends and I'm worried for you. For her. For both of you!" He stated, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Make up your mind, Remus." Sirius snapped before sinking on to the bench beside him and staring coldly at the ground, "She can't leave me, Moony. Not here. Not on my own. She promised she wouldn't leave me and I promised her everything would be okay. Except it's not, is it? None of this has ever been okay. I need her. Like I need air to breath. In fact, I need her more than I need air or food or water or anything. I'd die just to make sure that she was safe. But she can't be safe when she is near me. I cause her this pain and trouble and heartbreak and she loves it because I made it happen. Hell, her mum's probably forgotten her own name because of me. I wanted to protect her, but I just can't do that now, can I?"

"Yes you can! Sirius, look at this situation. She made it through this far and it's been what? Four hours? And she isn't dead yet no matter how pessimistic you are. She is in there with the best witches and wizards of our time. I am almost certain she'll be fine." Remus told him, sitting beside him.

The large door beside them only creaked open when the first remnants of sunlight began to filter through the windows as it rose over the hill next to the Whomping Willow. Professor McGonagall's face popped out first and spotted a sleeping Sirius leaning against the wall, with his mouth slightly open and a gentle snore coming from his nose. Remus got up suddenly from his position -sat on the bench leaning against the wall staring into space – and went to wake Sirius.

"No, Lupin." Professor McGonagall hissed through her teeth, before he looked back, with drew his hand and watched her shake her head, "Leave him. He's had a long night."

He nodded and looked back at his friend's before walking towards the door that Professor McGonagall now held open for him. Persie sat on the bed at the end of the wing and had her back to him. She was curled up in a foetal position and Remus got the impression she was asleep or in pain or both. Alastor Moody and Frank Longbottom sat on the window ledge at the end of the wing – the huge floor to ceiling windows casting eery daylight into the room.

"Pers?" Remus asked, as he touched the end of her bed lightly with his fingers, before she groaned in response.

"She's asleep, Remus." Frank said gently, trying not to wake her, "She's only just fell asleep, mind.  Surprised you guys fell asleep outside seeing as she almost screamed the castle down."