Yesterday had been such a whirlwind of emotions, to say the least. It seeded from my jet lag, and overall exhaustion of the travel and time zone change I had to get used to again, and surfaced with my happiness that Bella had woken up, but confusion as to what exactly she could and couldn't remember.
She thought we still lived together, which we did up until the beginning of this year, so her memory loss could have been relatively short term, or could stem back to when we moved in together years ago.
I wanted to see her again, I wanted to see if there was any improvement since yesterday. Today was also the day I had decided I would visit my uncle Paul, and granddad's graves, to say my goodbyes to them. Harry would be coming with me to both events, he insisted on it.
I did however feel extremely grateful that I had a boyfriend that supported me so deeply, and willingly. He was my comfort zone- it was impossible to ever feel unsafe, or unsupported, while I was in his company. So I didn't ever feel like he was intrusive, he was just protective- something I needed.
"Are you ready to go? We'll go to the cemetery first, then I'll take you to the hospital...if you're still up for it. Don't feel pressured into it, I can take you any time," Harry came up behind me, wrapping his arms firmly around my waist, staring back at us in the mirror.
"I have to do this babe, for my own peace of mind. Are you sure you still want to come with me today? I can tell Sam not to worry about babysitting, and you can stay home with Mia."
"No, I want to be there for you...I need to be there for you," he said very adamantly.
"Why do you need to? You know I can take care of myself," I told him, letting him know I was capable of taking care of myself, without sending myself down the rabbit hole again.
"I know you can, but why would you when I can take care of you? Jen, you and our daughter are the two most important people in my life, it's my responsibility to keep you both safe. If something ever happened to either of you, and I knew I could have prevented it, I could never live with myself. I want to take care of you, please let me without arguing with me."
It warmed me that he cared so deeply, and my emotions affected him so vividly. It was true when you found your soulmate you morphed into one- when I hurt, he hurt, when I smiled, he smiled. He was my shadow, as I was his, and I would never let anything happen to made him fade away from me.
"Okay, I would love for you to take care of me, like the angel on my shoulder," I looked up at him, pouting to lure him into a kiss.
"I could be the devil too, I quite like when you're a little naughty, if you know what I'm saying," he bit down gently on my ear.
"Typical," I playfully rolled my eyes, wriggling out of his grip.
"You love it, don't act like it bothers you. I know you think about us all the time...in that bed, against the shower wall, on the kitchen bench," he whispered into my ear, making me smirk at the memories we had created over the duration of our relationship.
He was right, I did think about us...a lot. There wasn't a day we weren't all over each other on tour last year. We were drawn to each other like magnets, one was always on top of the other, and I missed that playfulness and fire.
Not that we lacked that passion, although I did let the thoughts of us being boring take over me at a point, but he shut those down faster than they occurred to me. The times we were intimate, reminded me of just how good it felt to be with him, and how there was no possible way I could ever feel boring when in his arms.
YOU ARE READING
With the future looking uncertain at the end of Something Greater - the second book in the Something Great trilogy - has Jenelle survived the dark turn her labour has taken, or is Harry set to be a single father? Life has now become a balancing act...