Something Infinite

Chapter 70

Jen's POV

I woke up to a text from Harry, telling me he loved and missed me in moments like this. Moments like this, what did that even mean? I had no idea what was going on, for him to say that. I knew he was upset yesterday, when I showed him the video of Mia. It worried me to think something had happened to him, and there wasn't a thing I could do from where I was.

The text was sent just a little under three hours ago. Usually I didn't sleep in this long, but since today was Sunday, Angus and Gemma insisted on me getting a sleep in so they could spend some time with Mia. I wasn't going to argue, since I couldn't remember the last sleep in I had, had. However, now I wished I was awake earlier, since Harry wasn't replying to my text, asking what was wrong.

I was probably panicking over nothing. He had Willow there with him, so I knew he would be safe. If something had of happened to him, she would have gotten in contact with me, but she hadn't. I had felt anxious all yesterday while thinking of him though, so only the worst kept crawling into my mind, thinking there was a deeper reasoning for the message.

There was no use in worrying about something, when I didn't know the facts. I would just wait for him to wake up and tell me himself that he was fine, and I'd know the anxiety I was feeling was unwarranted, because there was nothing wrong.

Then again, telling someone with anxiety not to worry, was like telling someone how to breathe. You couldn't control it, it took over you and did its own thing. It wasn't as easy as flicking a switch and suddenly everything was okay. The crippling feeling of not having control over your own thoughts and emotions, was the most sickening feeling one could endure.

No matter how many times I told myself I was okay, the twist in my stomach did not disappear, and the tightness in my chest did not ease. I just wanted this to pass, but I knew it wouldn't until I knew he was okay. The joys of anxiety- it crept up on you when you least expected it, and remained for as long as it wanted to.

There was no point in laying in bed all day, dwelling on the unknown. Distracting myself may have helped a little. I was back at work tomorrow, so I knew Mason would be over soon, since he insisted on coming to fill me in on any pre work gossip I may want to know, before walking into the office.

I flung my bedsheets off myself, turning to the photo of Harry I kept by my bedside, whenever he was away. It made me feel like he was still here with me in a sense, it gave a comforting feeling seeing his face, even if it was for the few seconds before I left the room.

"Morning babe, I hope you're okay," I traced my fingers down the glass, talking to him as if he could hear me.

My feet felt numb on top of the cold tiled floor, leading to the back lounge of the house. The weather was getting colder, which also didn't help my gloomy mood today. It seemed the atmosphere played pinnacle roles in how I felt on certain days. The warmth and sunshine brought with it happiness and energy, while dark clouds and cold breezes usually made me feel the complete opposite. 

"There's a sight for sore eyes," Angus laughed as I walked into the room. I'm sure I looked horrendous, with my hair a mess, and one of Harry's shirts and sweat pants draped over my much smaller frame.

"I don't need to make fashion statements in my own home," I rolled my eyes.

"What's got you in the shits this morning?" He questioned my bad mood.