Military Love » Harry Styles

chapter two

"No" she told me. I felt like my heart had dropped down to my feet and my mind was fogged with doubt. I am an adult, and could do as I please but I had grown up with the undying support of my mom, and so for the first time being without it felt terrible. I looked up at her, as she was sitting on the couch with tears welling up in her eyes. Her face showed several emotions. One of them was anger. Anger because how could I even think of doing that. Another one was disappointment, because why would her daughter who was would perform well in college do something as off-putting as a military boot camp?

The emotion that overpowered all others was was sadness. Sadness, thinking about my dad, how he left me and my mom hopefully thinking that in one year he would return, though he never did. My heart sank even more at the thought of my dad. He was a lovely man and a great father of what I remember.

Our almost daily trips to the lake, where we would sit at the lakeside, looking at the water which was slowly moving in the direction the wind was blowing. Red leaves mixed still with some green and yellow once were secured tenderly on the trees, but soon, if fall would come, they would fall down. Like snowflakes in a snowing midwinter day.

Sometimes branches would slowly drift up and down on the slowly moving water and the wind would clash against the trunks of the trees, producing an wonderful sound that fit in everyone's ears. A sound that would made your heart flutter every time you listened to it, even if you had heard it over more than a thousand times.

There were a few seconds where I had decided to follow my mothers order, and not sign up. However, for the first time in years I had the feeling of wanting something so bad. I had known this feeling before, but after the loss of my dad it faded backwards. From that moment on it was no longer what I wanted, but what was best for me and mom.

I needed to this for me. 

I had looked up the details of the boot camp online, and left the site open as a tab when I closed by laptop shut. I had seen the site pop up, and seen its details.

It would take place a few hundred miles away and would prepare you for all elements of service: physical, mental and emotional. It was there to teach you how to learn and be adaptable in the military life. Most people will eventually get a guaranteed job in the military with great job mobility. I don't think being in the military is what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I want to do something different, something no one thinks I am capable of. I want to make my dad proud.

Somewhere in the back of my head I knew I would come to regret the decision at some point. I would be bawling at night, missing my mom, my friends, and surprisingly so even my job at the cinema.  It is time to choose for myself, and so I did just that.

"Mom" I sighed sadly as I faced her, when I looked into her eyes I noticed they were full of tears. She put her hands up to her head and ran them through her greasy hair. It was the day after I had seen the ad, and this was the first time I had brought it up.

"Why are you doing this to me." She cried out with frustration in her voice. "My one and only child wants to become a soldier!"

I cringed at her usage of words. I did not want to become a soldier; I wanted a challenge. It was true that I was her only child, but a military boot camp wasn't going to get me killed. It is a new experience, and shows you what it would be like to join the military. I threw my hands up in the air from frustration.

She was sensitive to the 'military' subject, it's not that I blame her, because I was too. But she took it to a whole new level, every time something that had to do with military or soldiers she would quickly grab the remote control and switch it to another channel as soon as possible. She would even cringe at the words.

"You don't understand." I calmly said. My mom and I would hardly ever argue, and I did not want to make this a big thing. "It's just for two months and I will not actually have to fight anyone."

"But honey, what are you thinking?" My mother asked me as she had calmed herself down, but I still received a bewildered glance from her. "The people coming there are physically strong, and have big aspirations to climb the job latter of the military. What do you want out if it?"

I sighed deeply, I had explained it what I wanted for about 30 minutes and still she failed to understand. I stood up and gave her one last glance before I hopped up the upstairs. Once arrived back in the comfort of my bad I quickly snatched my laptop from my desk.

Once again the site opened itself and once again the photos from the previous boot camp showed up once I went to gallery. A man in his forties, staring straight into the distance. Trying his best not to move his grace anywhere else then right in front of him.

Next to him there were two man dressed in camouflaged suits with their mouths wide open. Probably shouting something to the man. His face was only inches apart from the two man's faces. If you looked closely you could see the tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes.

It was a picture that made me rethink my plan, an image that changed my perspective of the way I was looking at that military boot camp. But then another picture caught my attention while scrolling through the many photos.

It showed a group of people dressed in their dress blues. Each button on their suit representing  an achievement that they had achieved in their military life. That was something that I had looked up to since I was a little child.

Every time my dad came home again he showed me a new button he had gained from his trip to wherever he went. It amazed me how he got a button at each achievement, while in real life you receive nothing for an achievement. 

Next to each other they all stood, with their hands closed in each other. Their eyes shining with pride and their smiles almost falling of their faces. They formed one big row and in the very front of the row an old grey-haired man was placing a medal around a man's chest. On the side you could see various family members with tears in their eyes, watching how their family member has achieved a goal that they've dreamed of.

Regret, was the thing that scared me the most. The thought of me being stuck at the military boot camp for 2 months made my heart jump with anxiety. But the thing I would regret the most was doing things that my mom doesn't approve.

"Violet, come downstairs! We need to talk about something" My mom yelled from downstairs. I quickly sat up straight and thought about the decision ahead of me. Should I do it or not?

Before I knew what I did I had filled in all my information and my mouse button was flying above the 'sent' button. I was so close to being in military boot camp yet so close to not seeing my friends and mother for two months.

I was close to achieving something that I could be proud of, but I was also close to probably regretting this straight away after I pushed the button. But I guess that's life, making choices. Regretting them and learning your lesson. So I decided to go with life and push the 'sent' button, and immediately a pain of regret hit my whole body.

What have I done.