Salvation- Larry Stylinson AU

Chapter 59

Harry POV

Okay Harry you can do this. She's your mother you can talk to her. I was currently pacing back and forth outside my mothers bedroom door contemplating of whether or not to go in and finally talk to her about how I feel. After talking to Louis last night I realized that he was right. I needed let her know what I've been thinking for the past couple of years and how bad I wanted to go back to the relationship that we used to have when I was younger. I finally stopped in my tracks and looked at her door. I placed a hand on the cold wood and gently pushed to door open. "Mom? Are you awake?"

"It's hard to not be with you walking around out there for thirty minutes."

"I'm sorry. I was thinking."

"About what?"

"What I'm going to say. But all I know is that I really do need to talk to you."

"Harry-"

"No mom really I need to do this. I need to tell you everything that I've been keeping in all these years."

"But Harry-"

"No, you need to hear it and I don't care what you have to say. I need to tell you now."

"But I already know what you're going to say."

I stopped in my tracks and looked at the serious look on her face. "You do?"

"Yes. I heard you and Louis talking about it last night."

"But how? We were whispering."

"You know how paper thin these walls are. They always have been."

"Oh..right. I forgot about that."

"Harry have you really felt like I preferred Gemma over you?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, you tell her everything mom. She was the first person you told that you were sick and even then you still didn't even tell me. And always when we were growing up you would pick her side no matter what it was. At first I thought you were just trying to be fair since we were closer when I was younger but it went on for years. And when I came out and told you that I was bi, I felt like you rejected me. Like I was some kind of broken toy."

"Harry I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared that it'd all be true. That you really did love her more and I was just the screw up child."

"I'm so sorry Harry. I never meant to make you feel like that ever. I always meant to switch sides every so often so that you guys wouldn't think that I was siding but I guess somewhere along the way that plan sort of deviated. And I defiantly never intended to make you feel like the screw up child. You just had a different lifestyle than I was used to and I guess I didn't really understand how to go about it. I wanted to support you but it was hard. I was confused and I never intended to hurt you. I love you so much Harry."

"But then why didn't you care when my boyfriend did that horrible thing to me. You acted like you never even saw anything."

"Again I didn't know what to do. I thought that you were trying to do um, that and he hurt you. I didn't know the full story until Gemma told me a few months ago and by then it was too late. I had already sent you off to camp and I immediately regretted my decision. I've been a horrible mother to you Harry and I know it's probably to much to ask, but please forgive me. I promise to spend the rest of my remaining time to cherish Noah and Louis, and most importantly you. It's all you ever deserve."

I looked at her as tears began to form in the edges of her eyes and my chest started to ache. She continued to look at me with pleading eyes for what felt like forever until lowering her head, accepting that she had lost. I walked up to the side of her bed and looked down on her. Then I engulfed her in a hug, pulling her close to me. At first she was shocked then she took a hold of my arms and held them tightly, as if she was scared that I would disappear. "I love you mom."

"And I love you."

"I can't believe that you boys are leaving already."

"I know but we have to go back to the house and get Noah back on his schedule."

"Thank you for having us Anne. And we'll come back whenever you want us to."

"Thank you for coming. And also thank you for bringing this beautiful boy."

"Gladly. And any time you want to see him or even talk all you have to do is call."

"Yeah but I don't want to be a bother."

"It's really no trouble mom. Any time you want to see Noah we'll drive up so you can see him."

"Thank you Harry. But please come soon. I miss having you guys around."

"We will. I promise." I pulled my mom in for a hug and held her tightly to my chest, not wanting to let go. When she finally pulled away Louis came in for his hug as I finished putting Noah in his car seat. I got into the passenger seat as Louis got in the drivers side and started the car. As we pulled away from the porch I looked in the side mirror at my mother, who continued to get smaller and smaller until finally, she was nothing. 

"Harry? Are you in here?" Louis said as he stood in the doorway of Noahs room. I turned around and smiled at him as he walked over and put his arm around me as we both looked down at our baby boy snoozing away. "He looks just like you when he sleeps."

"Yeah then he wakes up and is an energetic goofball just like you."

"I resent that."

"Of course you do." We continued to look down at our son until my eyes shifted to mine and Louis interlocked fingers, rings on both hands. "Louis."

"Yeah?"

"I want my mom to come to our wedding. Like, actually be able to go while she still feels good enough."

"I agree. But there's no telling when she'll start feeling sicker and sicker."

"It's going to be soon. That's why I was thinking of pushing the wedding up to maybe three weeks away."

Louis turned and looked at me with a surprised look on his face. "But how will we be able to do everything in just three weeks. And what about the venue? We already told them our date."

"I was thinking that we could just cancel and maybe have a backyard wedding. You know nothing big. Just our friends and family."

"Whos yard would we even do it in?"

"My mom has a pretty decent sized yard that could fit everyone. And I'm sure she wouldn't mind. Not only that but she wouldn't have to travel."

"And the food?"

"We could get it catered from a restaurant. And I'm sure we'll have enough for everyone."

"Our cake."

"Barbara down at the bakery loves making wedding cakes."

"But how will people get there schedules cleared by the time it comes?"

"We haven't mailed out invitations yet, we could just change the dates."

Louis sighed and looked down at the ground and back up at me. "You're sure you want to do this?"

"Positive. I want my mom to be there and feeling good when she sees me walking down the aisle."

"What if I want to walk down the aisle."

"Well I figured I'd do it since I bottom."

"Valid."

"So, you want to get married."

Louis looked at me and a smile spread across his face. "Yeah. Lets get married."