"Ready to go home or ready to see your man?" I laughed at her. "You know y'all made it to the ShadeRoom again."
"I know."
Since Odell posted that picture of me from Coney Island we've been the talk of social media. I talked to him throughout this whole trip, I posted a selfie of me on the beach and he reposted it with the caption saying Wishing I Was The Sand 😍😜.
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"He's so crazy."
"Yeah crazy about you. What's going on between y'all? Is it official yet?"
"No."
"And why is that?"
"Because I don't feel like I'm ready to fully put myself back out there yet. I feel closer to him the more we spend time with each other but I'm not sure anymore. What if it doesn't work out? I can't put my heart through that again."
"I should throw you over this balcony. You know that boy cares about you more than he cares about football. This is the happiest I've seen you in a long time, you don't know how happy I am for you. I mean you light up with that big ass smile anytime someone mentions his name. Are you really telling me that you're still unsure about him?"
"I don't know." I rested my arms on the railing.
"Don't do that to yourself Rayne. You deserve to be happy after all this time, Odell is not Carter he will not treat the way that scumbag did and I'll make sure of that. I know he hurt you to the core and he felt like he was the best thing that happened to you, and said you couldn't find better but trust and believe he ain't shit compared to Odell."
"I understand."
"Do you really? You can't keep holding on to the past that's destroying your future. You think he's been single this whole time? His ass is out there right now ruining another bitch's life, living for himself, and probably got another girl sitting around crying over him. I want you to be happy and stop denying yourself of your own happiness, don't look back on that no more he's not worth the headache."
I couldn't help but let my tears fall, she was right. I was denying myself of what I knew and felt that I deserved. I was ashamed of myself because I actually believed him and his bullshit. You ever felt lower than low because the person that you loved made you feel like shit and said that's everything is your fault? And with any relationship I had after that was just bullshit and a waste of my time and energy. Kim hugged me while I cried, I'm glad I have her for a friend. After my crying fit, I wiped my face and we sat down on the lounge chairs.
