the loft - j.b.

trente neuf

cambria

everything was too ... quiet. it's been almost four days since justin and i last spoke, since ryan and i spoke. karmen hasn't spoke to me since jeremy broke the news about his cancer which was a while ago.

justin gave me a job as his secretary and his original secretary now doing paper work that i was originally doing. but he hasn't given me anything to do so i haven't shown up at the office. right now, i was at rocco's having a breakfast croissant with orange juice.

"you're alone, need some company?" i heard ryan's voice.

"i guess." i shrug. "since when do you come here?"

"i don't. i was across the street at that music store and saw you walk in." he says. the waitress asks him what he wants and he orders the same i have then smiles. "we haven't spoken since i told you."

"it's pretty awkward that justin and i a something and you just come into the complication. did you tell justin?" i ask, and he shakes his head. "you need to."

"i called him and went to his office and his house. him and karmen weren't there, he's went m.i.a." ryan shrugs. "i legit just talked to him like two days ago."

i started to get a twisted feeling in my stomach. nothing on social media about them or the divorce. "what if he snuck off with her? what if he changed his mind about the divorce?"

"stop thinking like that. he probably wants to lay low."

"i haven't spoken to him and almost four days."

just as i said it, i saw a red ferrari roll up and park outside. the tall figure gets out, paparazzi just now deciding to pop up. when he walks in, he sat next to ryan. "where the hell have you been?" ryan asks.

"with my lawyer." he says. "i broke the news to karmen and she went ballistic. she started throwing things at me then she started crying in my arms then she started hitting me then she told me she wanted half of the company like she was promised."

"you had me worried sick, where were you?" i ask, and he sighs.

"i flew out to america. i went to rhode island to talk to the people at brown then when i got back i broke the news to karmen then something happened with my dad at the hospital and when i got home she was there with her father and lawyer. i still didn't tell my dad yet."

he looks stressed and tired. "why didn't you tell us? we're here to help you." ryan spoke for me.

"you told me not to get you involved and i don't want to bring cam into this." he looks at me. "the people at brown are happy to have you there."

"you didn't need to fly out there."

"they wanted to speak to me about adding a building to brown since their last architect fucked up everything." he sighs. "you're starting next semester which is three months."

"justin, i-"

"you're flying out there this week for a tour of the campus." he blurts. "and you're flying to atlanta with christian." he looks at ryan.

"why are you flying us out of canada?" i ask.

"i don't want neither of you here while all of this is going on. i need to be on my own when i do this." he sighs, standing up. "be at my house by noon tomorrow."

when he walks away, ryan looks at me. "though im hella happy to see my friends, he can't just fly us away?"

"if he wants to do this on his own, we might as well let him. i don't want to be a distraction, nor do i want to have to beat karmen's ass." i say truthfully as i put my money on the table, finishing my last bite.

ryan got his order to go, and we left out after he payed. as i drank my orange juice, he creased his eyebrows together. "you're going to be in rhode island for how long? like when you actually start?"

"i don't know."

"i know justin wants to be independent right now, but he can't do this alone. his father is dying, he's probably going to get half of his shit taken from him." ryan's voice was soft.

"i ruined everything." i whisper. "im ruining everything and though his father isn't my fault, his father isn't going to be happy about the divorce. i think it's good if i leave, you'll be here to keep him grounded."

"no, cam that's not what i meant." i kept walking knowing that's what everybody was thinking, probably including justin. i ruined their lives just because i wanted to fuck him.

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i wanna see karmen and cam rumble tbh