The Pawns that Gleam [Bk 3]

ch.41 Inside out

I stared at Becky, dumbfound. It all made too much sense everything from Becky begging to stay at my house for so many nights of the week when we were kids, to her being so antsy the morning she stopped by me and Harry's place the morning after we got married.

She and Tony always fought, but it wasn't because Tony was abusive, it was because her father had skulked back into her life and learning that Harry was the one that had killed Liam, that utterly destroyed her already broken spirit.

Becky looked up and burst into tears immediately, like she was overwhelmingly relieved and yet terrified that she had revealed to me the secret that had not only broken her spirit when she was a little girl, but that had blackened her body, the body she always seemed to reveal shamelessly.

But Becky never revealed her body, she revealed the costume that her father's horribly psychopathic mind had subconsciously created for her. His taking what she didn't even understand she had let alone had time to cherish, left her feeling utterly betrayed, so bare and so broken that there honestly wasn't a inch of her skin that she wanted to hide anymore.

I wanted to practice my maternal skills on the girl that needed them most: Becky. I wrapped my arms around Becky's quivering body and I prayed that her tears ruined my shirt because she didn't deserve to have anyone force their hands on her or mark her body in anyway, ever again.

Becky's trembling subsided after a few minutes and kissed her neck softly and rubbed her back gently. My gestures scared her at first and she moved back instinctively, but then calmed down and furrowed her face in my chest.  

"I-I didn't know what he was doing but I had fought back because the look in his eyes scared me and I felt- I felt so dirty" Becky whimpered.

She touched her arms carefully as she fought back the rush of emotions and images from the night I knew had changed and scarred her inside out.

"And-and the blood, I thought he was killing me. I thought that's what love is: you make the other person cry, make them feel broken" she nodded solemnly.

I stared at her. I was so mortified about what her father had done to even understand what she could have possibly felt at 7 years old.

"He had always made me feel uncomfortable, but that, that broke my faith completely. When I got older and I realized what he did, I was so disgusted that I denied it for years. It's why I never cared about those stupid assholes I dated. It's why I never waited for anyone, let alone a knight in shining armor" she explained slowly.

I nodded. Knights. They're so hard to find while the creeps are everywhere, even in your own family.

"Everything is going to be ok, Becky" I told her, but I almost didn't believe it myself. I wanted to run to the other room and cut Karter's filthy manhood off.

I scoffed. 

Manhood. Karter is no man. He's a low-life, perverted coward who preyed not only on a girl but his own daughter. His own blood.

Becky cried harder and clenched my shirt in her fist.

And where was Kendra in all of this? She wasn't home now, but did she even know about what her own husband had done? Or, was she a victim herself?...

"No one's going to hurt you anymore" I shook my head.

"But he's my father! My goddamn father!" she screamed. 

Then she covered her mouth, afraid the devil had heard him. 

"The one man I was supposed to trust was the first one to hurt me" she whispered.