I love you , Why can't you love me back?

P54

Luhan's POV
It's been 3 months since my wife left. Since then, I never heard anything about her. I tried my best to find her, but I failed. I swear I did my best, I don't know why but I feel like she's hiding from me. Cause if she isn't, why can't I find her?!
I miss her.. I miss her so much.. Why can't she just go back here and live life with me?

I forced myself to do the things that I am not willing to do. I drag myself to school and tried harder to focus. Every weekend, I'm obliged to help my Dad for our company. I got too busy these weeks.. Too busy that I don't have the time to hang out with my friends.. Though, they're also busy regarding the company that soon to be sign under their names, but we tried our best to hang out thrice a week. They always complain about the tasks their family has been given them, but for me even if I'm really tired, I accept every task my Father has given me. Not because I love doing it, but rather it is because it's the only thing that can peace my mind from the problems I am going through.. Or to be more specific, about Hee Rin.. How I miss her so much and how worried I am.

Every now and then, I would always asks my Dad if he was able to get some news about Hee Rin, but he'll just answer me with sad eyes and will say "get back to work son, and don't stress yourself too much" and then walks away. I don't know, but I feel like sometimes they're hiding something I didn't know.

Today is a very special day. It's the day every student has been waiting for: The graduation day.
I was sitting here inside my car, waiting for nothing. I glanced at my car's rear mirror, checking how I look and to my not surprise answer.. I look depressed.
I sighed as I lean back on my seat and glanced at my wrist watch, 4:30 it says. Still more minutes before the graduation start. Then my phone rang.. It's my mom. She was fussing as always and forces me to get my ass out of the car since the event is soon to be starting. I sighed heavily as I hung up my phone and tighten my grip on the steering wheel before stepping out of my car.

The students that are in same batch as me are scattered all over the place. Some were taking pictures with their friends or their families and even their special someone. Some were busy fixing their Toga happily. I walk slowly towards the chairs when my mom call out my name excitedly as if it's the first time seeing her son, I rolled my eyes as my mom hugged me and start pinning a flower on my suit, she's more excited than anyone here, as if she's the one who is going to graduate. Sometimes my mom is over reacting..
"I'm so proud of you son" she beamed as she hug me again while faking a sob.
"Okay, enough with the drama. Sit on your chair and behave" she demanded while fixing my tie.

I lazily sat on the chair with Lay and Xiumin beside me, they were talking about something that is really out of their age. They act like they're 7 years old or something. And I start getting irritated as they both make their talking long and comfortable when I am actually between them and I can't complain and was forced to just listen to their nonsense topic.

Then the ceremony begins. We all stand for the opening prayer and for the national anthem. You can see the wide smiles of the people around me, they're so happy that their hardship has come to an end.
As expected, the faculty professors held their speech boringly, and then after the long speech of the Dean, finally.. Diplomas are on the way! I walk on the stage respectfully as the Dean handed me my diploma, while on the side of the stage, my mom was taking pictures of me. I smiled bowing at the Dean then turn my face to bow at the crowd and I find myself looking for the specific person in the crowd, how I wish my wife is here to witness my achievement. I sighed before walking down the stage. So this is the feeling of graduating.. Finally..

After the ceremony, my mom took a picture of me and my friends. I encircled my right arm on D.O's shoulder while the other one was on Sehun's, we all squeezed each other to fit in the camera and smiled widely.
We were congratulating and hugging each other when someone poke my sides, I turn around to see who it was.. Ji Eun. We haven't talked to each other since Hee Rin left, yes we see each other in school or pass by each other in the hallways but we never talked. I was surprised to see her standing in front of me with a small smile on her face.
"Congratulations" she greeted as she took my hand to shake it.
"Time sure flies so fast huh?" she pouted.
"uh-yeah" I shrugged. I can see that she can sense the awkwardness and starts to look around before saying something.
"look. Uhmm.. I just want to say I'm sorry" she said while biting her lips. I was taken aback about what I've heard. She's sorry?
I just stare at her and nod, signaling that she can continue.
"I know that what I've done to your wife is wrong, and I'm very sorry. I regret it really"
"and I hope you two will live a happy life" she mumbled while playing with the flowers in her hands.
"I hope so too" I mumbled as I lowered my head. She look at me with an unreadable expression.
"what do you mean?" she asked.
"My wife isn't around. She left" I said bluntly, as if stating the obvious.
"so it's true" she gasped and covered her face with her hands.
"I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry.. it's my fault" she cried. I pulled her against my body and hug her comfortingly.
"ssshhh.. it's no ones fault" I said. Then she pulled back and smiled while wiping her tears away.
"I hope someday you can forgive me Luhan" she smiled weakly.
"look.. Ji Eun, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for making things so hard on you. Sorry for not keeping my promise" I apologized.
"It's okay. I mean, that's how it is right? We thought that we're meant to be but then we're really not. You're meant to be with your wife" she chuckled and I smile at her.
"I know someday, you will find your other half too. That will treat you the way you should be treated" I said as I give her my assuring look. She just smiled and nod lightly.
"you really love her Luhan?" she asked with her eyes smiling. I nodded slowly with a hint of pain and happiness in my eyes.
"then.. what are you waiting for?" she raised her brow.
"huh?"
"go. Find her" she beamed.
"I tried" I mumbled.
"don't give up Luhan. You know in your heart that she's just there, waiting for you" she smiled and patted my shoulders. I look at her in awe. I can't believe my Ex-girlfrend is now supporting me. Somehow.. I feel so happy.

I bade goodbye to Ji Eun as she walks away to spend the night with her friends. I spun around to find my friends staring at me teasingly.
"what?" I shrugged.
"seems like someone is making friends here" Chanyeol wiggled his eyebrows.
"get your own life Chanyeol" I said in a monotone.

"how's everything with Ji Eun?" Suho patted my back. I look at him and just smiled.
"I guess to forgive is one of the happiest decisions in life eh?" he smiled.

Yeah.. It's such a relief to forgive someone. And to be forgiven by someone is something else too. It feels so good and free. As if a thorn that was stuck in your heart has finally gone. And I learned, no matter what that person do to you, no matter how bad it is, we should learn to forgive. Cause sometimes keeping the anger in your heart will just make your life incomplete and in pain. But when you forgive, the happiness you will feel is priceless.

Hee Rin-aah.. Where ever you are. I want you to know that I graduated. Can you congratulate me now? Just a single smile on your face is enough for me.
And I talked to Ji eun. She said she's sorry, I forgive her. She's really kind Hee Rin, maybe she does those bad things because it is the only way she knows to do when her mind is confused. I remembered about the article I've read, it says there that sometimes we became a badass because we still can't accept the reality. But I hope someday you two will get along. And she said that I should not give up on finding you. Ofcourse I won't give up.

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yay!! I'm back with this boring update:D haha. I'm sorry. I'm still processing my mind since I haven't updated for so long and I forgot my format on writing:D haha.
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