I love you , Why can't you love me back?

P45

LUHAN'S POV
i was thinking too much for the past minutes.. i hope everything will be alright.
i walk around the room again and again. my mind was filled with negative thoughts.. and i hate it.
then my feet calls for some rest, so i sat on Hee Rin's bed.. then i felt something as i sat.. there's something below the bedsheet.
there was this single paper under the bedsheet.. and i know, it belongs to Hee Rin.
it was a drawing actually.. a very calm view.. to tell you honestly, it's not that beautiful but when i studied it, the feelings makes my heart skipped a beat.
she draw a girl? cause it has long hair, so maybe it's a girl.. she was standing while facing the beautiful scenery, with the sun that were about to set over the beautiful sea.. when you look at this cute drawing, you can see that it has mixed emotions..
then at the back of the paper, there's a few words that were written.. it says "hello beautiful sun.. and sea.. can you take me somewhere else? somewhere beautiful" then my heart flinched.
Hee Rin.. i don't know what you mean about this words, but i know there's something behind this.

i was about to hide the paper when the door creaked open.. it was Hee Rin, with a nurse assisting her.
she sat on the edge of the bed with her head down, she looks sad... the nurse closed the door as she get out..
"how are you feeling?" i asked Hee Rin as i sat on the chair infront of her.
"i don't know. how am i?" she asked as she look at me.

i almost forgot.. i told the doctor that don't let Hee Rin know her situation..
i know that it's kinda selfish, but i don't want Hee Rin to feel pressure.

"when can i go home?" she asked.
"soon Hee Rin.. soon" i muttered.. she just look down and sighed..




YOUR POV
i don't know why the doctors won't allow me to go home.. i just hate here..
i feel like i'm dying when i'm here..
and the doctor would ask me countless questions as if i'm a celebrity and he's a reporter..

when i walk inside the room, luhan seems shocked..
i sat on the edge of the bed while luhan sat on the chair infront of me..
he asked me if how am i feeling now.. i hate him.. he know's everything about my situation cause he talked to my doctor and he won't tell me.
then  i noticed a paper in luhan's hands.. it caught my eyes..
and wow.. it's my drawing!!
i quickly snatched the paper from luhan and he just gave me a look.
"where did you find this?" i asked.
"under the bedclothes"
i just rolled my eyes as i crumpled the paper and throw it away..
"why did you do that?" he asked.
"cause it's just a dream"
"what?"
"i just want to go home okay?!! so please, tell the doctors that i hate here and that i want to go home now" i shouted as i glared at him.

luhan was just staring at me then took my hand and rubbed it with his.. actually, i don't want him doing this kind of physical contact..
i'm still mad at him and i don't want to forgive him.. ever!!
but whenever i see his eyes or hear his voice, my cold heart was melting..

"Hee Rin-aah.. we'll go home soon. i promise" he mumbled.
"why can't we just leave now? i'm feeling great" i said.
why is he speaking so soft?!! and i really want to go home. i want to eat real foods, cause the foods that were serving here were tasteless and i hate it.
and i'm not sick, i feel great now.. why can't i just leave?!

i rolled my eyes and pushed my body on the bed.. i don't like it here..
"Hee Rin.. do you feel any pain?" luhan asked. i don't know why is he asking those questions.. as if he's my doctor.
"no"
"please tell me the truth okay?" he asked.
"i said i'm okay.. why are you so concern all of a sudden huh?" i asked as i furrowed my eyebrows.
he was about to talk when the door opened.
it's time to take my medicine..
the nurse checked my pulse and would asked me countless questions.. luhan walk out of the room, he said that he's going to buy a food for him.
"nurse, can i ask you something?" i uttered.
"yes ma'am."
"why can't i go home? i mean.. i'm feeling absolutely great" i smiled.
"well.. you can't go home.. not until the results were out"
"what result?"
"from your x-ray.. and we're still observing your case ma'am"
"why?" i whined.
"because your case is kinda dangerous"
what dangerous is this nurse talking about???

the nurse asked me to rest and i just nod. but i'm not planning to sleep again.
as the nurse went out, luhan then came in..
he was preparing the side table.
"hey, want some fruits?" he smiled. i just look away..
"luhan, what's wrong with me?" i mumbled as i look at the ceiling.. then luhan stopped, he look at me as if he's mind was tangled about my question.
"there's nothing wrong" he answered.. he's lying.
i sat up and throw my pillow at him..
"you liar!! i know there's something wrong.. i'm not stupid! what is that nurse talking about dangerous case?!!" i shouted as i trembled.
luhan went closer to me and hug me tight.. i tried to push him away but he's too strong..
i don't know what's happening..
"hee rin-aah.. you're going to be alright.. i promise" he whispered..
"let me go!!" i shouted as i tried to push him away.
"let me protect you Hee Rin.." he mumbled as he let go.. i looked at him with my furrowed eyebrows..
"what are you talking about?" i asked.
"you're going to be alright Hee Rin.. trust me" he uttered as he squeezed my hand.

i just look at him in disbelief..
i don't want to ask him any questions anymore.. i don't know, but i feel like my heart keeps pounding badly..
maybe.. my life is in danger. that's what i felt..
but who cares right?!
i don't care if i die today, or tomorrow, or the next day.. cause that's what life is.. you'll just appear in this world as a human and let them make you feel all the happiness, sadness, pain... everything.. then one day, you'll just disappear..