I love you , Why can't you love me back?

P44-

LUHAN'S POV
it's been 1 and a half days, and I'm still here at the hospital.
actually, I haven't slept yet.. Since I'm sleeping beside Hee Rin's bed. And I'm just sitting with my head resting on the side of her bed.
that's why whenever she toss around or even move a bit, my eyes would open automatically..

and we never talk. Hee Rin is always asleep.
and when she's going to eat, I'm the one who feeds her. But she always hesitate.. She said that she can eat by herself and that only her back got injured, not her hands.. I can't blame her though.. Maybe she's just like that cause she's still mad at me.

and tonight.. I'm sleeping again on the chair beside Hee Rin's bed.. I took her hand and used it as my pillow..
my eyes were aching cause they haven't rested yet..

it's now 11 pm when I slowly open my eyes cause I feel uncomfortable.. and my pillows were gone.
then.. I saw Hee Rin, she's sitting on her bed with a curled position and her hands were placed on her head.. and I noticed... Hee Rin is crying..
my eyes widened as I hear her sobbing, I quickly asked her what's wrong..

"Luhan.. m-my head.. it hurts.. a-a lot" she cried.
I ran to call the doctor or nurse for them to check my wife..
I stayed outside the room as I waited the doctor to come out..
I lean against the wall and my eyes were threatening to close, cause I'm still sleepy. So I slap my face to make me awake.
then after a minute, the doctor came out and he asked me to go inside and take care of my wife. I asked him what's wrong and he said that he'll talk to me later..
as I open the door, Hee Rin was lying on the bed with her head facing the window. I went closer to her and poke her sides but she remain unmove.
I asked her if she's okay, and she just nod.
I held her hands and cupped it with my hands..
"Hee Rin.. I'm going to talk to your doctor now.. stay here okay?" I muttered.. and she just nod without looking at me.

I walk to the doctor's office and went inside..
his office is kinda big for a doctor, I can tell that he's a boss.. And there were lots of medical equipment on his side desk..
I sat on the chair across from him with a table between us..
he removed the stethoscope that were hanging on his neck and he sighed.
"Mr.Lu.. if you don't mind. May I ask what happened to your wife? I mean, her back" he asked as he twiddled his fingers.
"why? is there something wrong with her back?" I asked.
"as you can see sir, there was a big bruise in her back.. And it's not just a bruise" he sighed.
I listen carefully to every word he is saying.. he told me that, the spinal cord is one of the dangerous area of our body cause it is connected directly to the brain.
"injuries to the neck or back may damage the spinal cord, causing loss of function of the nerves below the injury" he added.
"and it may cause severe and potentially permanent brain damage" he explained.
my heart keeps beating fast as I listen to his explanation.. It's like stabbing my heart with a knife ten times..
"because both the brain and spinal cord are confined in tight spaces, inflammation or internal bleeding can cause pressure on the nerves. if the pressure does not subside, the nerves will start to die in a few hours"
"but rapid treatment to reduce the pressure may prevent permanent damage to the brain or spinal cord"

my knees started to become weak and I feel like I'm melting.
my mind was so awake that even if i'm tired.. I almost forgot it..
I don't understand the doctors explanation, but I know it's dangerous.
"we're still doing further examinations for your wife sir"
"is she going to be okay?" I muttered.
"we hope sir.. but as I said, the aching of her head was a sign that there is something wrong, it may be internal bleeding.. we will do X-rays for her tomorrow. now sir, if ever she felt pain again, call us quickly.. I'm telling you, it's not just an injure, it may cause brain damage and worse.. it may lead her to comatose" he explained.

I walk slowly in the hallway with my head down as if I'm a walking dead..
my mind was somewhere else I don't know.
I lean against the wall and slowly slid down as I stare at nothing..
I wanted to cry but my tears seems to hold back..
I pray to God that everything will be alright.

the people passing by the hallway, even the nurses look at me as if I'm lost.
I look miserable.

after some few minutes, I stand up slowly and walk back to Hee Rin's room. The door creaked as I opened it.
I look at Hee Rin from afar and she looks fine.. She was just lying there peacefully without even knowing that she's in danger.
I went closer to her and her eyes were closed.. She's asleep.
I ran my fingers through her soft and silky hair as my hands became shaky. I can't breathe.
my heart was aching too much.. Especially when I look at Hee Rin's innocent face.
how can someone like her suffer this kind of situation?... life is unfair.
it should be me.. not her..
if only I can take all of her sufferings is possible.. I would immediately do that.


I sat beside her and took her hand as I burried it mith my hands..
it's already 2 am and I don't feel any signs of tiredness..

as the time flies by that it's already 8 am.. I was lying on the couch when the door opened.
the nurses asked me if they can now take Hee Rin for X-ray..
Hee Rin walk outside with the nurses assisting her.. she looks as if there's nothing wrong with her.
I followed them but they told me that I can just wait in the room.

I hope everything will be okay..
Hee Rin.. please be okay.. please...

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SORRY!!! sorry for this short update:(
I have classes and my schedule was really tight that's why I updated late.