I love you , Why can't you love me back?

P16- worried ?

Hee Rin drags Tao to find people crowding make shift or portable stalls in the street. She forced him to eat street foods.. She said that she never tried it before.. But she wants to try it anyways.
They ate a lot of different street foods and even drink some soju.. Not that Tao wants to.. But Hee Rin forced forces.
She would laugh like every minute? And Tao somehow loves to see her happy.. To be honest.. At first, he really hates her because she annoys Luhan and Ji eun.. But after spending some time with her, he think he kind of like her now..
I mean.. Not like her as a lover.. But he likes her as a girl..
Wait?!! Does that make sense?

Anyways.. they were drinking some soju when she starts to become serious.. Tao think she's starting to get dizzy and he kinda felt worried. He should've stopped her from drinking.
"I hate myself" she muttered while playing with her fingers and her head was hung low..
"What?"
"I'm such a bad wife" she pouted and sheepishly smiled at Tao, who looks at her with furrowed brows. Hee Rin was cursing herself again and again.. She's so naive.. She hates herself because Luhan can't love her..
It's not her fault.. It's just that Luhan already got Ji eun before he met Hee Rin, that's Tao would always think while gazing at Hee Rin.
"You know.. You can't blame yourself about that" he protested.
"yeah?"
"Yes.. You're just hurting yourself"
"I know.." she looks down.
"Why don't you just give him up?" He suddenly asked. He always wonders why she wasn't giving up on Luhan when she can see it right on her face that he doesn't like her a bit.
"Because I love him.. And I'm not just going to give him up like that" she murmured, as if that was the most valid reason she can come up to.
"Is it painful?" He asked out of nowhere.
"What?"
"You know.. When you love someone that doesn't even care about you" He shrugs and leaned back on his chair. Hee Rin stared at him for a minute and blinked.
"oh... yeah.. it hurts.. But I'm fine" she croaked and Tao doesn't know but when she said that, he feels like he can feel what she is feeling right now. And he swears it hurts his chest and he thought he can't breathe for a moment.
"Why don't you just cry it out?"
"Because I'm not weak" she said while smiling.. She looks so innocent and fragile to say such things. Tao didn't know she's like this.
"Crying doesn't indicate that you're weak.. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you're alive" He explained, trying to ease the tension of their hot topic.
She just looks at him and her eyes starts to become watery.. But she just smile again and never say a word..

*Now I realize one thing about Hee Rin. That silence is her loudest cry. I admire her for being strong.* Tao thought while staring at her amusedly.
"You know you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. Someone who doesn't complicate your life." He stated and he himself was shock about what he just said. Where did it came from?..
"Somebody who won't hurt you" He even added.
She flashed a warm soothing smile before she looked away.. *Luhan hyung, you're so unlucky for not noticing this lovely girl* he sighed inwardly and looks away.


Hee Rin was happy and thankful for Tao tonight. At least she has someone who can talk to now. And it's been a while since she has normal conversation with a friend. Tao's question lingers in her mind though. If it hurts to love Luhan.. Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow, we must fail in order to know, sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes are washed away with tears.
And yes Tao. It really hurts. a million feelings, a thousand thoughts, hundreds of memories.. All for one person.. That's what Hee Rin wants to answer...
And this is kind of funny. After eating, Hee Rin suddenly narrowed her eyes and starts panicking when she remembers her husband. "Oh my gosh!! It's already 10! And I didn't cooked dinner for Luhan!" She exclaimed and starts dragging Tao.
"You think he's going to get mad? You think he already ate dinner? Oh My Gosh!" she blabbers and Tao scratches his head. *he didn't even call or text you once to ask if you're okay since it's already late, yet you still make yourself look weird while panicking here in the streets because of him* he thought.

When Hee Rin enters the house. She quietly tiptoed and was about an inch away from her room when she spotted Luhan. He's sitting on the couch while staring at.. nothing?
Hee Rin taps her chin and looks around, thinking *why so weird? Wait, maybe he's hungry!* and her eyes widened. She was about to open her mouth and greet him but he suddenly stood up. Hee Rin gasps and she thought he looks scared wearing that emotionless expression of his. He walk towards her with heavy steps and clenches his fist.
"Where have you been?!!" he shouted and Hee Rin jumped in shock.
"i-i'm...." she stuttered.
"It's already 11 pm, did you know that?!" he asked angrily as he run his fingers through his hair. He looked so angry and like he wanted to punch something that Hee Rin want to hug him to ease his anger. Why is he even mad? He usually doesn't care when she goes home at this hour.
"I'm sorry.." She slightly bowed and bit her lower lip and thought *but Luhan, I've waited for you.. But you didn't come*

Luhan actually forgot that he's going to pick her up after class. When he was having fun with his friend while paying billiards, that's the time when it dawned him. He was going to pick her up and he's so careless! It's already dark outside and he starts running towards his car and drove to the school. He searched for her everywhere but he couldn't find her. Her phone was off and he hates her!!
He even thought of contacting her friends but then he realized, she has no friends at all.
When he walks home to change his clothes before finding her again. His feet hurts and he sat at the couch for a while. Thinking where is the possible place his wife would go when she isn't home when the door suddenly creaked open. It was her.
He was so angry that he starts shouting at her. He doesn't know why but his blood was boiling and his heart was clenching. He felt so worried about her yet all she would give him was a bored expression?! Seriously? She even stuttered when he asks her.
He was looking at her angrily when he smells alcohol..*did she?!!!*
"are you drunk?" he asked, feeling madder than ever.. Hee Rin's eyes widened and she shook her head guiltily. But Luhan knew too well that she's drunk. Her red face explained it.
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At the canteen the next day, exo was eating happily when Luhan notice that the manae hasn't arrived yet. He even skipped 2 subjects. He was about to ask his friends when suddenly the maknae appeared out of nowhere while rubbing his temple. The boys gave him a confused look.
"Where have you been?" Kris asked.
"You didn't come yesterday.. You told us that you'll follow" Kai added.
"uhmm.. Uh... sorry.." he answered weakly.
"Are you sick?" Luhan asked and reached to feel his forehead.
"No.. It's just hangover" He croaks and Luhan frozes. *H-Hangover?* he thought.
"Hang over? Did you drink yesterday?" Baekhyun asked.
"uhmm... yeah" Tao confesses and buries his face in his palm. Luhan gulped heavily and thought *he doesn't usually drink without us. Unless it's his dad, but he's overseas.*
Tao rubbed his temple again and gazes at somewhere, Luhan follows where the maknae was looking at and saw his wife hitting her own forehead with a fork. Luhan furrows his brows and face the maknae again as he thought *she's drunk last night. And Tao was also drunk last night. Is what I am thinking right?*