I love you , Why can't you love me back?

P47- harsh , i must say

LUHAN'S POV
it's already 7pm.. Hee Rin is still in her room.
I decided to cook our dinner.. so... I cooked lasagna..
When I finished cooking, I prepared the table and smile at my accomplishment.

I knock on the door of Hee Rin's room but she didn't respond.. so i just walked in.
Hee Rin was lying on the bed and covers herself with blanket...
I sat next to her and poked her sides..
"Hee Rin. it's time to eat" I grinned.
"I don't want to eat" she simply answered..
"come on, you need to eat" I said as I pull the blanket that was covering her.
she sat up in annoyance and glared at me..
"I said I don't want to eat!" she shouted. I don't know what's wrong with Hee Rin,, she's not like this before.
"please Hee Rin, you have to eat" I begged. I just don't want her to skip her dinner since the doctor said that I should make sure that Hee Rin eats properly.. and I don't want her to get sick..
"leave me alone" she uttered then she looked away..
she's so stubborn.. she needs to eat!! uuurrrgghhhhhhh...
I gulped heavily before I sighed "Hee Rin, I said let's eat. if you won't eat, you will die, do you want that?!" I said in anger.
"then let me die!!" she yelled as she pushed herself on the bed and covered herself with blanket.
my eyes widened as I look at her.. omo.. did she just said that?

I can't believe Hee Rin said that..
I walk out of her room in failure.. why is she like that? what's wrong with her?
I waited for her in thought of maybe she'll come out when she feels hungry..
but then... she never came out.. so i just eat by myself..

When I finished eating, I went to the living room and sat on the couch.. hoping that Hee Rin will come out any moment..
but then again... time flies by... and Hee Rin still won't come out..
so I lied on the couch as I felt my eyes getting heavy, then I dozed off.


the next day, when I woke up.. I hear some noise in the kitchen, so I walk in the kitchen while rubbing my eyes..
Hee Rin is preparing our breakfast..
I smiled as I saw her and my heart was beating so fast that it wants to come out..
"time to eat" she said as she sat.
I quickly sat on the chair across from her and stare at her in awe.. wow.. Hee Rin talked again.. I'm so happy.
and not only that.. she improves in cooking..
"wow.. yummy" I smiled as I eat. Hee Rin just smile a bit and continue to eat without looking at me.. she just focuses on her food.
well... I kinda miss her expression when she looks so excited when we eat even if I criticize her cooking..
I thought she'll jump out of joy when I praise her for improving.. but then I was wrong. she just smile a little, actually it's a fake smile.
Hee Rin was so quiet.. I miss her telling me random stories about her when we eat. I miss her laugh..
what happened Hee Rin?


i took a bath and wore my uniform.. I sat on the couch while waiting for Hee Rin.
we missed our lessons, cause we have to skip our school days since Hee Rin was hospitalized and i need to take care of her.
she came out of her room as she fix her bag..

WheN I was driving, Hee Rin was just looking straight on the road with her cross arms.
I would glance at her every now and then, but she never look at me.. not even once.

we arrived at school and Hee Rin didn't even say good bye.. she just walk to her direction without looking back or waving a good bye.
I don't know what to feel right now..
I feel so angry, sad, hopeless, frustrated.. i don't know..
I must now say... never underestimate a woman..
a loud voice of a man may threaten a woman but the silence of a woman can shake the consciousness of a man..


When the bell rang that announced it's lunch time.. my friends and i headed to the canteen..
I look around to find my wife.. and there she is. sitting and eating alone..
I told my friends that i'll eat with my wife and they just nod and smiled teasingly.. and I can see chanyeol and sehun's evil smile.
I went to Hee Rin's table and sat on the chair beside her.
"hey" i greeted. she just look at me for a second then she look away.
"what are you doing here?" she asked.
"i'm here to eat with you" i smiled. Hee Rin then closed her eyes and took a deep breath before glaring at me..
then she stood up and walk away.. without saying a word..

i walk back to my friends with a frown on my face.. i miss her so much.. i hate it.
"hyung, what happened?" kai asked.
"i don't know.. she changed a lot after the incident... she never smile after that and talk less than before" i sighed as my friends joined me and they also sighed..
"did you talk to her?" suho asked.
"she never give me a chance to" i mumbled.
"maybe because she's too tired for words.. that's why she is speechless" Tao blurted out.
we all look at him in confusion..
"yeah.. Tao is right.. maybe she's tired of you hyung" sehun sighed.
"i agree.. i mean, i bet you made her cry so much before.. don't get me wrong hyung, but i think you never treat her as a wife before.. especially when you're with ji eun" chanyeol said and they all agreed..
sometimes, i don't know whether they are my friends.. but anyways.. that hit me..
yeah, i never treat Hee Rin nicely before.. i always hurt her feelings.. but i'm trying my best okay? to gain her trust again, and to fulfill my duty as a better husband..
"i know.. yeah, she cries alot because of me.. she became weak." i said as i pouted.
"she cry not because she's weak luhan.. but rather.. maybe it's because she've been strong for too long" kris said as he patted my shoulder.

I know that I made a lot of mistakes.. I'm just a human..
but in all of my mistakes.. this is the worst.. I feel like I'm dying slowly as Hee Rin continue to ignore me..


after class.. I walk to Hee Rin's classroom.. actually i'm 10 minutes late.. but I hope Hee Rin is still there..
as i went nearer to her room, I heard some voices.. voices as if they're judging someone..
then I found out.. Hee Rin was being bullied.
her classmates were throwing curses at her while some was calling her slut.. and Hee Rin just ignored them.. she's busy fixing her books and shoved it in her bag as if she's the only one in the room.
I clenched my fist as i hear those words that were thrown towards my wife..
I feel so much anger inside me right now, and i don't think i can control it..
so I bang the door and everyone's attention were at me.. i kicked one of the chair in front as I gritted my teeth and my eyes were like blazing fire.
they were all scared watching me getting mad.. I've never been so angry before..
but I can't take to hear those words..
"yah!!! who are you to say that to my wife?!!!" i yelled.
they look so scared and they can't even look at me..
Hee Rin was just staring at me in disbelief.. don't worry Hee Rin, i'll protect you.
"if i hear again those filthy words against my wife, i'll kill all of you!!!" i shouted.. then i grabbed Hee Rin's wrist and drag her out of that place like hell.


i just can't control my anger anymore..
we went to the school garden as i let go of Hee Rin..
"why are they doing this to you?!" i asked as i was frustrated.
Hee Rin just look down and keep silent.. and when i look at her, my heart was aching too much..
i want to cry and hug her tight.. i want to tell her that i'll stay by her side forever and no one can hurt her..
"Hee Rin.. i'm sorry" i said out of nowhere .
"i never listened to you" i muttered..
"but please... let me protect you" i added with a pledge in my eyes.
she look at me with a furrowed eyebrows as she smirked.
"why did you do that?. i can't believe you saved me from my classmates.. gosh, how can you protect me if you're one of those who are hurting me so badly?" she said coldy..

--------------------------------------------------

gaaahhhhh.... Hee Rin is so cold..:/
it's my fault. tsk.