I love you , Why can't you love me back?

P43- waking up

------------------------------------------------

YOUR POV
I wake up.. in a hospital bed, with IV's in my arms and tubes up in my nose. I panic, wondering what in God's name just happened.
I rip the IV's and tubes out, and attempt to walk out of the room but the nurse blocked my way. Difficult to walk, I grasp my aching side, which felt pain..

"you need to lie down miss" the nurse exclaimed, as I limped over "I need to call someone" my voice echoed through my head..
"I'll do that for you ma'am, your friends were outside" the nurse added.. m-my friends?...
"i-is eunjung there?" I asked as I winced in pain.
"do you mean.. the girl ma'am? yes she's here"
the nurse lead me back to my bed and put the IV back.. I told her that I need to talk to Eunjung. She said that in a minute, my friends will come inside to visit me.. But I told her that I want Eunjung first..

as Eunjung walk inside the room.. She quickly ran towards me and hug me tight.. I winced in pain and she apologized..
I borrowed her phone and call my mom..

my mom was so worried that she started packing her things cause she's out of town.. She told me that she'll quickly go here as fast as she could, but I told her that I'm okay.. No need for her to worry.. She said sorry cause she can't take care of me, I just smiled..
"I miss you mom.." I mumbled, holding my tears back.
"I miss you more sweetie.. take care of yourself okay? call me if you need something. Sorry if your dad can't talk with you right now, he's in a meeting right now, but he's so worried sweetie.."
"I'm okay mom.. I'm just tired. don't worry.. just continue your work"
we said goodbye after exchanging talks.. Eunjung was just staring at me with her swollen eyes..
"hey.. did you cry?" I asked teasingly.
"yah.. I'm just tired okay?" she said as she rolled her eyes..

then after awhile.. the boys came inside one by one.. Tao was the first one to greet me.. I just smiled weakly.. then Eunjung waved goodbye at me cause she needs to go, Tao volunteered to walk Eunjung out..
as the two disappeared.. the other boys greeted me and I just smiled.. while Luhan.. I don't know, I don't even bother looking at him.
I rest my hands on my stomach as I stare blankly at the ceiling.
"hey" Luhan greeted..
"are you okay?" he asked. I didn't respond.. I don't want to look at him.. not once.. not twice.. not anymore..
I'd rather stay silent than explain my problems to people that don't really care.

you gave me so much pain luhan..
it's like loving you who doesn't even care for me is like using a white crayon on a white paper. It's invisible.
and I hate my heart from loving you Luhan.. it is broken but still works.. just for you.
yeah.. maybe it's true that love is blind, but I realize.. it shouldn't be deaf and dumb.. while you should give up yourself wholly to love, it doesn't mean that you should cease thinking

I love you Luhan.. I love you from the bottom of my heart.. but I'm tired.. I'm tired not from loving you, but rather.. I'm tired of receiving so much pain.
I hope you can understand.


LUHAN'S POV
Hee Rin was just lying on the bed while staring at the blank ceiling..
she didn't say a word to me.. even looking at me.. she's so quiet. I sat on the chair beside her bed while staring at her blank face..
I tried to talk to her but she just close her eyes as if she's sleeping.. I want to hug her tight.. but I feel like she won't let me..
I placed my hands on top of her hands that were resting on her stomach.. she didn't move..

earlier when I was outside this room, I think of so many things to say to you, and now that I have the chance to tell you. I go speechless.

my friends say goodbye cause it's already late.. I thanked them from coming.. especially Chen.. he's so quiet, and I thank him for telling me the truth.. I didn't expect him to say that. Cause he's always silent..

it's already 1:45 am, Hee Rin was asleep while i just stare at her.. and would run my fingers through her hair, and would pinch her cheeks..
feeling the warmth of her face.. I miss you Hee Rin...
I took her hand and placed it on my cheeks.. feeling her warm hands on my face.. it felt so good.. so perfect..

---------------------------------------------------------