Test Subject #9536

23 - Continuing

I have to change my decision. I have to. I had decided to stop doing bad things, but I think that is doing more bad than good. I'm going crazy.

Doing all those bad things... It really was bad... I...

No! I can't stop doing something I enjoy! If I stop doing bad things, then my friends will suffer! I'm sure that they have already suffered enough.

Why do I even care about my friends in the first place? Why would I ever care about them? Why? Why do I even call them my friends if I don't care about them?

I have to stop... I have to stop...

They aren't my friends then. Why don't I just do something bad to them next?

I... I can't!

I can feel the wet start to come down my cheeks. Why? Why? WHY?!

I sit there, and the wet starts to come down more and more. When I wipe it away, it just comes back.

"WHY?!" I yell, the wet coming down my cheeks hard.

I that my friends must be wondering why I am acting different. I must have hurt them. I can imagine the two of them together, laughing. Laughing about me in a mean way. NO! No! No!

I get up, and I run out of the lounge. I run down the hallway with the rooms, going past my room. I keep on running until I reach a wall and there are no more rooms.

I start pounding at the wall, and the wet continues to come down. Loud noises start coming out of me, and I remember the scientist calling it "sobbing." She also had a name for the wet coming down, but I don't remember what that is.

"Open up! Open up!" I yell while sobbing.

All I want to do right now is get out of here. I can't take this place anymore! Now all I want to do is get out of here. I just want to leave. I just want to... I just want to... I just want to... I don't know... All I know is that I don't want to be here. I want to be nothing.

I then hear an announcement that we all have to go to our rooms, I start sobbing even more. I remember that I have been hearing it differently.

I quickly start running, and I run to my room. I slam the door behind me and I curl up in a ball as much as I can on the bed. I don't want any of this! I don't want any of this!

I try to stop myself from sobbing, but I have a hard time doing so. I decide to give up on trying to stop sobbing and I let myself sob.

I then imagine of both of my friends alone, looking sad. The wet is coming down their faces, and they are sobbing.

I start sobbing more and I yell, "No! No! No!"

My head starts to hurt, and I start to get tired. I just want to sleep, but I have a hard time doing so. Once there is an announcement that we all have to get ready for bed, I manage to stop my sobbing for long enough to get ready.

After I am done getting ready, I quickly get into bed and I try to sleep. I still find it hard as I am sobbing. I eventually stop sobbing, and I eventually fall asleep.

The next day, I wake up to an announcement saying that we all have to go to the lounge. Like I would do that. I think that I should do something else, something... better. I could stay in my room all day if I wanted!

I stay in my room, and I look at the syringe and bottles. I realize that I will have to refill some of this soon. Next time I have testing I will steal again. Then... everything will be alright!

I start to think about my friends, and how I need to spend more time with them. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will spend time with them. It will be alright.