Test Subject #9536

22 - Stopping

"I should stop this. I shouldn't do all these bad things. It's wrong," is what I had thought a few days ago. That was my final decision. To stop doing bad things.

I've tried to act normal, but there is something that sets me apart from the rest. I don't know what it is.

I have also tried to get over what I did, and I'm not sure if I have yet. At night, I find myself thinking about what I did, but I am longing to do something like that again.

"Hi," I say to my friend as we have lounge time now.

"Hello," she replies.

"What should we do?" she asks me.

"Hmm... we could talk," I suggest.

"That's fine with me."

"I... feel like something is wrong with me," I confess.

"You... do?"

"Yeah."

"How.... So?" she asks, a little afraid.

"I don't know," I say bluntly.

"You... don't? Shouldn't you try to figure out what it is? Maybe you could ask the scientists..." she says.

"No! The scientists..." I start saying but I stop myself in time.

The scientists are evil.

"What about them?"

Ugh.

"Well... I was wondering if you could help me," I say.

"Uh... Help you? I'm not good at that sort of thing."

"Have you tried before?"

"No..."

"Then you should at least try!"

"Alright..." she says a little reluctantly.

"Yay!" I say to her.

"Well... what is wrong with you?" she asks me.

"I don't know."

"Can you at least try to tell me what it is?"

"Well... you know the other day? Everything was quiet as you said or whatever?"

"Yeah?" she says.

"I... I don't know how to put it into words. I guess, why?"

"Are you wondering why we were all on the floor at first?"

I quickly say, "Yeah... I think that's it."

"Well... if you're wondering why... That type of thing isn't weird. It doesn't happen daily, but we all know that it is alright."

"Why?"

"You're newer, right?" she asks me.

I nod my head and say, "Yes."

"Then you wouldn't know this yet. Whatever the scientists do, you trust them."

"Why is that?"

"Because... we can all trust them! They are like our friends. We all trust what they do. It's alright, everything they do is good." She says.

"I see," I reply.

"Are you still worried?" She asks.

"I... don't know."

No. I regret doing that... I regret. I can't tell you. I had to tell someone, so I'm telling you this. I still was wondering why everyone didn't find it weird. So now I guess I know...