Jonnor, love is much more

52.regrets and ammends

regret: noun. a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.

regret is word that almost everyone has felt at some point or another in they're lives whether it be something as simple as eating that burrito for lunch or taking the wrong bus. Something though that they don't include in the definition of regret is how after even years you can still feel it. Why do we feel this way after so long the only answer that I can think of is that life's a bitch.

Connor Stevens just like any other person struggled with regret, but more so than other's see in very rare times a special kind of regret forms the kind that festers up inside and changes you and that's what it did too Connor Stevens, as much as he'd like to blame it on his father and his surroundings it wasn't them it was regret and not the kind that everyone knows, it was the kind that you had to live with and see everyday and its name was Jude Adams-Foster.

Connor regretted it the moment Jude left the porch that day, and he had regretted it ever since.

Now though he regretted a new thing sleeping with Jude Adams-Foster because not only did it reawaken his regret it reawakened the feelings that came with it. Love, and yet Connor still let Jude walk away for not the first but the second time, but this time though he felt a longing to not let time repeat its self this time he needed to say something.

It was two days after the lunch incident that Connor finally got Jude alone he was reading on the bench outside the gym where they shared their first kiss in seventh grade, "Hey " Connor say as he approaches the bench,Jude looks at him for a second before giving him a bitch face in response and looking away. Connor stands there waiting unsure of what to do.

"What do you want" Jude says giving in. Connor sits down next to Jude before finally facing him.

"I wanted to talk to you well about stuff yah know"

"well you didnt want to a few days ago" Jude said looking back to his book.

"sorry" Connor said, "Hey do you remember what you said?"

"When?".

"at lunch" Connor said looking at his hands.

"Yeah and" Jude said still looking at his book.

"you said that you wondered where the good Connor went..." Connor said lowering his voice.

Jude looked up from his book to see something he hadn't seen in a long time a glimmer it was a glimmer of the old Connor shining through, "ok what about it" Jude said.

"I don't know where he went" Connor said starting to sniffle.

"Connor..."

"Yeah" Connor said wiping his face and looking at Jude.

"What happened" Jude said looking away.

"Everything... my dad came back. you left and now were here"

"Your dad came back... when" Jude said placing a hand on Connors' looking at him.

"A few weeks before we broke up".

"Why didn't you tell me..." Jude said dumbfounded.

"Cause".

"Cause why Connor hmm",Jude said wanting to know.

"Because I didn't want you to get hurt ok".

"What happened to your mom?" Jude said after a few minutes of silence.

"She left for business and I haven't seen her since".

"I'm sorry". Jude said rubbing Connor's back.

"It's fine you don't owe me anything anyways remember".

"Is that why you broke up with me"Jude said.

"I didn't brake up with you Jude you broke up with me ", Connor said softly "remember".

"Well if memory serves me right you didn't object at the time", Jude said.

" I just I don't know... I guess I thought you would stay for me" Connor said lowering his voice.

"I'm sorry Connor but at the time I didn't know what to do you hadn't talked to me in weeks and by the time I did see you you were so despondent that I didn't know what to do".

"s'okay I'm sorry to you know for everything" Connor said.

"it's okay hey umm... do you wanna grab something to eat?" Jude said smiling.

"I'd love to" Connor said smiling.

THE END

Authors note: OK guys thanks for reading this is the last chapter if you guys would like an epilogue to find out what happened with Adam and Jude and Connor please comment "epilogue" but I would like to say thank you for all the support and likes I hope all of you enjoyed the story just as much as I enjoyed writing it thank you all and don't worry I will be updating my one shot and be turning that into a another series just like this until then thank you and goodbye.