Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)

Entry Forty Eight: 5/19

Though it's a school day, I convinced Angie to let me take the day off ( I think I really need it) to help Nina pack. She broke up with Alex, by the way, but is planning on moving away with a new one (they've been dating for only a month or so). I'd been helping her get some of her things in boxes last weekend but she's leaving tomorrow so I need to see her again 'cause I'm not sure if she'll come around my place on her way 'cause my house is not on her way.

Cullen seriously scares me. Like, I'm pretty sure I'm being overdramatic but...whatever. He's really tall, probably at least 6' 5", and meaty, like, he has a lot of muscles and he's kind of red all over like he's suffering from itching all over and had to constantly scratch himself. But he was apparently a "sweet and loving and loving guy", according to Nina because he had driven all the way from New Mexico to help Nina pack. Big whoop.

The packing was hard, we were all sweaty from transferring things from her house to the U-haul outside. I really don't want Nina to go, especially not with some ex-con that she'd only just met. Ugh.

But she said she loves him. Yeah, she said that about Alex, too. And look where they ended up. Seriously, I'm worried about her but she told to "[...]calm sown. It's not like [they're] getting married". This made me kind of mad because that's even the more reason she shouldn't throw everything she worked for and built up for some red faced, guy with a criminal record she met drunk at a bar. Seriously, Nina is awesome and she'd been my only friend for a loooooong time, but sometimes I feel like I need to be the adult in our relationship.

Yoga at Nina's will not be the same without Nina. It should be called Ex-Nina's Because She Decided to be Love Struck for the Nth Time and Leave Town and All of Us Who Love Her Especially Me. ENBSDLSTLTAUWLHEM. Perfect. Suits the situation accordingly.

At the end of the day, I had to resist the urge to slit Cullen's tires or steal his car keys. Something to prevent Nina from leaving so soon. Charles suggesting I try yoga was the smartest thing he's probably told me to do.

We cried, of course, and hugged and kissed and cried some more. Cullen just stood there and watched, patiently waiting. He better! He's taking my Nina away. Who will I talk to that really knows what I'm going through now? Who will I ask for advice when I'm sad or angry at Connor? She knows my secrets, she knows completely what I've been trough. We've told each other things I'd never dare tell anyone else.

Jo and Angie say I'll be okay, that I have other friends, and Connor. They don't understand how deep this is. No one does.