Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)

Entry Nineteen: 3/1

In algebra today Sarah was extra happy and nice. Idk, she's been super nice to me lately. It's nice but at the same time I don't like attention being drawn to me, which was what she was doing, though I don't think she meant it... Charlie said I should go out of my freaking"comfort zone" so I tried that. I tried to smile back and be strong and hold my head up with people spread rumors about me and tease me. I tried to ignore them and act like I couldn't hear and see them. It only lasted a few comments before I felt like I was going to break.

Good news!!!

Sarah invited me to her party. It's on Saturday. It's not like the pumped up parties I've heard about and watched and even read in books where there's alcohol, drugs, games, loud music, and sex. To be honest, those sound so exciting to me. It's not really the engagement in the activities as much as just showing to one of those parties with a good friend on my arm or even a guy. Chris... I imagine myself walking into a big house with the party already at full swing. Though everybody is caught up in each other's faces, in alcohol, or just having fun, the whole atmosphere would change as soon as I step through the door and eyes would be on me. I see myself getting really hot with embarrassment and awkwardness, and then someone dumping something down my dress. Everyone would then join and I'd run away crying, finding a ditch to sleep in off the high way at night....

But Sarah invited me to something nonetheless and I was so grateful! At first I was like, uh...parties? And then she told me to bring my bathing suit and I was like, uh...low self esteem...and then she said I could bring any two people I'd like, and I felt a little better. Campton was around so even if I didn't want to go, he'd make me. Campton just had to open his big mouth and tell Sarah that I would definitely be coming. Now I can't change my mind! Unless I say I have a family emergency...

But, I'm kind of excited. I'll ask Chris to come and Campton, obviously.

Then Chris came over and after a comment Campton made about us being a "thing", he agreed with this incredibly cute grin on his face! I was so shocked! I know we kissed and I go to some of his games and he walks me to class sometimes and we sit together at lunch and we talk and text on the phone for hours and we do homework together sometimes and he buys me...

 Oh, God.

Is this my first boyfriend?

Bye, diary. I need to go hyperventilate.