Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)

Entry One-1/14

I didn't choose to be like this. Its not my fault. None of it is!! So why are people treating me like it is? Why are they calling me names like faggot (as if I'm gay...). And whore? I've never fucked a guy in my life!

So far, today is a disaster. I mean, better than most but still, I never really have any good days.

I actually made it to my locker without any name calling or shoving. Organizing my notice board Angie gave me when the school year started, I made myself a mental note to study extra hard for my upcoming Algebra II test next week. Ugh!! I freaking hate math.

That's when I smelled something. Sniff sniff. Apples and sass wood. I know that smell all too well-Connor Pride. Total hottie and super popular. We have history together and I'll literally sit in class and stare at the back of his head. I'd dream of his beautiful head dreaming of our future together. Maybe, just maybe he'll ask for my hand in marriage and we'll live in L.A. and have four kids.

Okay, I got my stuff and closed my locker but my pencil case accidentally fell. Even now, I'm not exactly sure if I did that on purpose... Point is, Conner helped me get it just as I was bending down to get it and our heads bumped! That hurt but I just mumbled a "sorry". I could barely look him in the eye!

But it gets...bad. Connor, being the respectable gentleman that he is he handed me back my pencil case and one of his friends, James says, "uh, dude. You don't want to be contaminated by this misfit, do you? Let's go before Joseline freaks!"

Connor looked down and walked away with his pose.

At lunch I tried to sit with Sarah. She's in my algebra class. Wed trade pens sometimes and help each other out with problems. I figured we were at least more than just classmates so I said hi and asked her if the seat by her was taken. She acts like she's so cool and days "no" all sassy-like, as of she has friends herself. Sarah spends her lunch making origami of her food rather than actually eating it. Well, sometimes I'd pass by her lunch table with my tray of lunch going to the bathroom and I'd see her...

I start to sit down and then she says, "that doesn't mean you sit there". That really hurt my feelings. There were a few other girls around and my heart sank. How could she say that? I'd sometimes see her in the hallways and I'd try to catch her eye. She give me a smile. Did she really mean that? Why can't I just make a friend???

I ran to the girls' bathroom crying. My tray was still on their table. I didn't care. I was hurt and humiliated. I'd finally gathered up the courage to ask Sarah if I could sit with her and she completes tears me down. Great. Life is going great for me right now.

Whatever, I am literally getting teardrops on you, diary. You're really the only friend I have! This is stupid. Bye.