Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)

Entry Two, 1/16

     After school today I drove myself to Nina's Yoga across town. At least there people don't recognize me as the girl who probably has threesomes with her moms, though sometimes I still feel like people are staring at me and thinking that.

     I joined Nina's yoga class last month as a suggestion by my therapist. He actually suggested I join one that is in town but I was like, hell no! Was he seriously trying to kill me?

     According to mom Jo, my therapist Charles, is supposed to help me get through my "inner problems" and become more "social". Seriously though, sometimes I just wish my moms would shut up. They don't know the half of what I'm going through. They're the cause of my pain pretty much. If they really cared, they'd split. Sad, I know, but this is where I am in life right now...

     My yoga mat is purple. It reminds me of bubbles. Strange. You'd think something like light pink or silver would be more of a "bubble color" but not for me. I'm not sure why...I think of bubbles as an art in themselves: the way you can see right through them and how they gleam in the sun and pop by the slightest disturbance. They're so fragile. 

     So, at first, joining a yoga class seemed stupid and a waste of time, not that I have any plans or anything... (Though, I actually really love yoga. By myself, alone in my room, no in a public place. Yoga helps me relax and stay calm. I think about my life before the bullying started, or imagine how it must've been like, at least. I think of life presently and how much I freaking hate myself. I also dream about the future, which doesn't seem so bright for me. :( Charles asked me in one  of our lessons: What do you aspire to be? Me? LOL That's funny! The only thing I aspire to is getting through high school. Period. In pieces, in half, all of me. I'll legit take anything.) But I met someone. No, not a boy. I wish, right? Nina herself. She's younger than you'd think. She has stunning long, wavy brown hair that bounces just right, defined, high cheek bones, jaw dropping green eyes and the perfect body and curves. 

     After class we talked some. She asked me about my day and I asked about hers. She told me to give Jo and Angie some slack. She doesn't understand what I go through. Nina claims to have been bullied when she was in middle school, but seriously, I doubt it. If you met her, you'd doubt it too. Someone that pretty doesn't just wake up one day and look like a Victoria Secret model due to "puberty". She had to have always been like that. Puberty just enhanced her good looks. 

     She asked me if I'm still seeing Charles (she made it sound like we're having some affair) and I told her about how much I hate him.

     As we talked I had a thought. I love Nina. I really do. But does that make me a lesbian? What if the things kids at school are telling me are true. You're moms are homos so you must be too! Go fuck yourself, faggot!

     What if they're right?