Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)

Entry Thirty Eight: 4/5

     So yesterday I went over to Chris' for dinner today. I had to do all my home school work before going, however, but that's okay. I know I'll be glad I did tomorrow.

     Chris has apparently been super busy with soccer these days. He's better now, so he can play. He plays all the time. Ceasar even told me that he never rests. He'll be cooking in the kitchen with Mrs. Smith and he'll use onions as his soccer balls. I was starting to get worried because Chris hadn't been answering my texts and calls. I don't go to public school anymore so I don't see the boys as much as I'd like, which is, like, the only thing I miss about it.

     Chris actually showed up for dinner. Ceasar told me that lately he's had so many games and team practices and personal practices that he barely even has time for his family. I just hope this doesn't get out of hand.

     Oh, before I talk about dinner, Ceasar had his little date with that Chloe girl. HAHA he said it went horribly. I feel kind of bad, but doesn't seem to care much.

     The dinner table is huge! It has to be, there were  ten of us at dinner.

     We had lasagna and stir fried veggies withe some rice. Mister and Misses Smith even gave Ceasar, Chris, and I some wine. It was only, like, a couple ounces, but thy argued that introducing alcohol to kids in a safe environment prepares them much better for when alcohol is introduced to them in an unsafe environment; which I find very wise and true. The younger children had sparkling wine.

     Of course, Christian was reaching across the table, even after Mrs. Smith scolded at him to ask people to pass food or drinks to him, Cayla was complaining about how her friends Sharleen told her that she doesn't like veggies, as if anyone cared, and poor Mrs. Smith kept yelling at Christian and Ceasar to playing with their food. I swear, it was chaotic. But that is what happens when you have so many boys. 

     Chris showed up sometime in the middle of dinner and when everyone had already left the table I stayed with him. I let him eat in silence and he barely looked at me. When he was done, Mrs. Smith gave us the "okay" to go talk. We went up to his room.

     I asked Chris if kids at school had been bullying him but he said that wasn't the reason he's been so busy. I asked him who else he was seeing and he got all affectionate on me. He said he loves me and only me and that our relationship is built on love and trust, so I should trust him. I do trust him...I just...I guess it's my low self confidence that guides my emotions most of the time. It sucks, you know, feeling like shit all the time.

     Omg, I asked Chris if I could see him after school today but he said he'd have a lot of homework. I felt so sad! He could've invited me to do homework with him! Maybe he is busy with school and soccer, but maybe he's using that as an excuse not to talk to me anymore. Maybe he's glad I've left school. Maybe, all along, he's been wanting to break things off with me, but he still wants the sex. Maybe that's all I'm good for to him. But lately, he doesn't even want that, not that I'm complaining. It hurts, you know. My very first, real relationship...Why can't things just work out?

     I left Chris' room angry and sad, and he could tell. I don't think I'm showing up at the Smith's place any time soon. Sigh...

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A/N: I know...I know...I haven't updated in 8 days! Sorry. I was kind of busy. I have summer school. I am not retaking a course, I am advancing in math. Right now I am taking tenth grade math GT for next year, so I'll take eleventh grade math in tenth grade, which is Algebra II GT. It's intense and we go very fast, so when I get home, I really need to study and review. Sorry, y'all! But here you go! Hopefully the next chapter won't be a long wait.

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