Only You - [Lip Gallagher]

k(no)w it's for the better

Just as I was going downstairs for breakfast I hear Tami ask an intriguing question, "Wanna go see it?" which causes me to creep down the stairs quietly out of pure nosiness. "The house?" Lip ask, house? What house? "Yeah, duh." "I mean yeah but I just started working on this." Lip says, most likely referring to a piece of the bike. "Is that the only thing stopping you from going to see it?" She asks "Yeah and the fact it's in Wisconsin." He says and my heart shatters, WISCONSIN?! "You know 'I live in Wisconsin'" lip says sarcastically. "I'm not excited about Milwaukee either but it's a free house." Tami justifies.

No. No. He can't go. It's for the better but he can't go. I can't be far from him. I know we aren't together but knowing he's still close by brings me so much security and comfort. Please Lip don't go.

I hurry back to my room, closing and locking the door. This can't be happening. I sit on the edge of my bed in utter shock. The sound of knocks on my door snapped me out of it, "Yeah?" My voice cracks and I clear my throat. "Sade, can you watch Fred? I'll be back in a couple hours." Lip asks and I feel my throat tighten with tears, I clear it again before speaking. "Yeah I'll be right down." I take a deep breath and exhale before opening the door to lip still standing there. "You okay?" He asks and I nod, "Yeah fine. Tired, that's all." "You okay to watch him though right?" He makes sure, "Yeah totally. Don't worry." "Thank you so much. I'll be back in like four five hours max." "Uh, where you going?" He looks stunned, "Uh, run a few errands with Tam." He says and I nod. "Okay." I say before he goes in for a hug but stops himself, "Uh, see you later. Thanks for watching him." He says before jogging downstairs and leaving with Tami.

Fuck.

++

"Carl you reek." I scoff, sitting on Ian's lap instead of the couch next to Carl. "Seriously, you fucking stink." Mickey scoffs. I look down at his hand to see a ring, I gasp softly looking at Ian. "No you didn't?" I smile and he smiles, "Yay!" I squeal quietly, hugging him then leaning over to hug Mickey. "Since when does Lip call family meetings?" Debbie scoffs, sitting on the steps with Franny. "Since now." Lip says, walking into the living room and sitting on a chair he brought in from the kitchen. "Tami's pregnant again?" "She dump you?" Debbie rambles and he doesn't answer, "Oo, definitely dumped you." She says. "No. Her, Fred and I are moving to Milwaukee." Lip blurts out, his eyes immediately finding mine, nobody says a word but Mickey's hand finds my knee, giving it a squeeze while Ian squeezes my hip. "I'll still be around. It's only two hours away." Lip is trying not only to convince us but to convince himself that it's gonna be okay. "Congrats!" I say, keeping my composure. "On a better note. Ian and Mickey are engaged!" I break their news like a cunt because I can't handle what the fuck I just heard. "Oh wow, congrats!" Debbie says. "Finally." Liam scoffs. "Family meeting over?" I ask, voice full of pain. "Uh, yeah. That's all I got." Lip says quietly. "Cool." I say, rushing upstairs.

No. No, this can't be happening.

The next morning Lip storms out of the kitchen as soon as I walk downstairs. "What's that for and why is your gun on the table? Franny lives here!" I say, gently smacking the back of Mickey's head. "My dad showed up." He scoffs, shoveling cereal into his mouth. "Oh I heard." I say sarcastically, sitting down across from Ian. "How're you?" Ian asks and I shrug. "I know it's for the better." "He doesn't want to go." Ian blurts out, "What?" "He definitely doesn't. He looks miserable as fuck." Mickey says with a mouthful. "Well he has to. It's the best option for Fred." I say, "You're gonna have to talk to him." Ian huffs, "How when he runs away from me?" I ask and Ian shrugs and stands up, "You'll figure it out. But you need to talk to him. He's losing his mind."

Why is it always up to me?

++

"Why do you want to stay in South Side so bad?" I overhear Tami scoff at Lip the next morning from the living room where Franny and I are eating Cheerios. "I just hate Milwaukee. It sounds stupid." Lip explains, "F-R-E-E house." Tami speaks slowly. "I'm looking for a cheap fixer upper here in Chicago! I'm not leaving Chicago." Lip says before he walks out the back. "Can you talk to him?" Tami comes into the living room and asks me. "No fucking way you're asking me to help you move him away." I laugh, "Don't you want your ex far from you?" Tami asks. "Yeah." I lied, "So help me help you." She says before leaving out the back way as well. "What the heck, Fran." I joke with her, making her giggle. "I don't want Uncle Lip to leave." She pouts. "Neither do I." I sigh, stabbing my cereal with my spoon. "Neither do I." I repeat

++

"Sadie's gonna be my best man because you have other options and you're fucking shit up." Mickey says as we all sit down at the table later that night, "Bridezilla." I sing as Mickey clicks on pen, "Fuck off." "Sadie should be my best man. She's lived with me forever." Ian argues. "You have brothers. None of my family wants anything to do with this shit." Mickey confesses. "Ian, I'll be right there with you regardless." I grab his hand from across the table and he nods, "Fine." Ian huffs. "You ask Debs if Franny can be the flower girl?" Mickey asks, "Yes." I answer. "Ian you're not doing shit." Mickey complains, "Calm down Milkovich." I nudge his shoulder. "This is all about Terry, you don't give a fuck about weddings." Ian says, slightly hurt. "The fucks your ring?" Mickey complains "I must've forgotten it on the sink." Ian says, getting up and rushing upstairs. "Jesus Christ." I mutter, "See what the fuck I mean?" Mickey shakes his head before we continue planning. The wedding is less than forty eight hours.

++

Late late that night as I'm trying to go to sleep but can't at the thought of Lip leaving and Ian getting married in a couple days, I hear Tami and Lip argue right outside my window.

"It'll be good for Fred to be around his cousins, his aunts, uncles. All of my family and your family are here. We'll have no one in Milwaukee." Lip says, "My family is my support system. This is my home, sh- they are my home." Lip stammers. "I said this when I was younger and I'll say it forever; it's me and her-them against south side forever."  "You said her Lip." Tami sounds devastated. "I can't leave Chicago." Lip says and it all gets quiet before I hear the RV door shut.

Jesus Christ the Gallovich wedding is basically tomorrow and everyone is falling to shit. Why can't anything ever go right in the Gallagher home?

I decided this was the time I needed to talk to him. I groan before pulling myself out of bed and walking downstairs. I'm startled to see Lip standing in the kitchen, "Jesus Christ, I thought you were outside." I say, letting out a deep breath. "Yeah, sorry. Tami and I had an argument. I just needed a minute." He says and I take a deep breath once more. "Lip you have to go." I blurt out. "What?" "You have to go for Fred. Don't let me stop you from being happy." "You make me happy, Sadie. Fucking you!" He raises his voice slightly, "Don't yell at me." I fold my arms in front of my chest. "I can't fucking leave because I can't leave you. I can't be two fucking hours away from you that shit will kill me." "Being around each other will kill us slowly." I argue. "I'd rather die slowly and painfully if that meant I could stay." Lip says "You know what? Fuck you, Lip." I scoff, "Oh, fuck me?" He chuckles, "Yeah, fuck you!" I scoff once more at him and before I knew it he was holding my face, making out with me passionately. I didn't pull away, I kissed him back. Fuck I miss him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

We did. We fucked. Right there on the kitchen counter which led to the floor.

Fuck.

"Fuck." I cry out, standing up from on top of him and putting my face in my palms. "Fuck." I repeat, wiping the tears that are streaming down my face. I didn't stop him, I wanted it but I didn't want to do this with him again. I'm stupid for letting it happen. "Are you okay?" Lip asks, buckling and belting his pants once he stands up. "We just fucked." I say, in shock. "Yeah?" "You have a baby mom that you're planning on leaving the state with!" I cry out. "I did this to myself, once again. Lip you have to go to Milwaukee. I can't stay here either. Every corner of this house is fucking haunted and it's only going to get worse when you leave. We both need to leave. Go raise your family and let me start my own." I say with pain in my voice. "Sadie, no." Lip is crying now. "Lip, you have to go." I sniffle before hurrying upstairs.

What the fuck have I done?