But I Still Want You S2 / Taekook Vkook

S2-CHAPTER 53

*Taehyung’s view*

After finishing my shower, I put on my pajamas and dried my hair. "I want to smoke a cigarette," I told myself. Grabbing my pack, I threw on a light jacket and headed to the rooftop.

Once there, I noticed Jungkook and Jimin already present. I considered turning back, but before I could, Jimin rushed over to me.

"Taehyung-ah, wait... did Namjoon finish his shower?" Jimin asked, and I simply hummed in response before he dashed off the rooftop towards the dorm.

As I attempted to follow him, I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind. Jungkook hugged me tightly from behind, pressing his body against mine and resting his head on my shoulder.

‘’Jungk..’’ I tried to speak, but Jungkook cut me off with a whisper. ‘’No.. please.. don’t say anything, please…’’

İ took a deep sigh, ‘’Are we going to stay like this for a long time?’’ I said.

‘’I-I just want to tell you something, Taetae... You... you are my first love, my first touch, my first in everything... So... I was... I was scared that... someone will take you from me... You are mine... only mine,’’ Jungkook managed to explain, his voice trembling.

‘’Take me from you? Am I a toy, Jungkook?!’’ I said, trying to release myself from his hug and facing him, but he held me tightly. ‘’No... No, it’s not what I meant... Shit... I'm so bad at talking...’’ Jungkook said, hiding his face in the nape of my neck. ‘’I... I don’t have the courage to look in your eyes,’’ Jungkook continued, his voice breaking. I couldn't resist seeing him like this.

‘’Maybe if I were in your place, I could have felt the same,’’ I told him, trying to relax him.

‘’Really? Then... then you're not angry with me?’’ Jungkook said, and his hug loosened.

I released myself from his hug softly, and I turned to meet his eyes. ‘’But I would have listened to you, and tried to understand. Then I could have acted... But you? You made your decision without even listening to me,’’ I said.

‘’W-what decision?’’ Jungkook asked, avoiding my gaze.

‘’The decision not to talk to me, the decision to judge me without listening to me, or maybe... to break up definitively with me,’’ I said, trying to meet his eyes.

‘’Ha... Haa... That... No... I... I was just angry... Even when... when I calmed down at night... I removed the block on your number from my phone,’’ Jungkook tried to explain himself.

‘’Okay, let’s forget what happened. Let’s delete yesterday from our calendar. Okay?’’ I said to him, trying to comfort him with a smile. Jungkook nodded with his bony smile, so cute.

‘’What's that? Cigarettes... Did you start smoking?’’ Jungkook asked, taking my hand.

I wanted to say that I started smoking last night, but I knew Jungkook would feel guilty and accuse himself, and I didn’t want him to blame himself. ‘’Yes... You know, after losing my grandma and what some fans accused me of seeking attention after my last speech about her... And what happened with my brother... So... I tried my first cigarette. I thought maybe it would take away all my pain with the smoke that I exhaled... Ah... Sorry... I know you don’t like cigarettes, so...’’ I said.

But Jungkook cut me off and said, ‘’No, no, who said that? I was just very young and naive... So I said what they teach us in school, you know, hehe... I love you... And I will love you... with cigarettes or with american peace pipe... It doesn’t matter to me.’’ Jungkook's words made me laugh, my Kookie.