𝕽𝖚𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍 𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖎𝖝𝖙𝖞 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗-𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖔

theo's pov

Once we got to Italy, the northern part of Italy, I immediately got to work. Pulled all the strings I could to keep both Cruz and I safe, and Lani safe from James. He was starting to get smarter with how he played his cards.

For the first month, Cruz and I split up to get the job done quicker. The faster we took care of the men in Italy, the faster I could get home to Lani. The good side of me didn't want to kill them all, only James. I took files upon files to police stations, dropping hints for them to arrest certain men. Half of them had multiple charges stacked on top of each other, so it made it easier for them to be arrested.

Every week, I stopped by the newspaper stand to see the top headline and it was always 'Capo del crimine arrestato per molteplici accuse tra cui riciclaggio di denaro e aggressione.' (Crime boss arrested on multiple charges including money laundering and assault). It was like a moth to a flame, watching them all be arrested and convicted almost
immediately.

After the first month, there were only a handful left, Giuseppe and James being two of them. I told Cruz to head back to our hiding spot while I took care of Emilio, one of the last guys needed to be taken down. I walked into his office building, getting past the security and secretary.

I saw him sitting in his office on the phone with someone. No one was left on the office floor, so I took it as my chance to sneak into his office. "Well, well, well, I'll be damned. Theodore Amadeo, Massimo's son. He has you doing his bidding now?" I pulled my gun out and pointed it at his chest, "Well, I know you can talk, or did that meeting where your Nonno snapped at you and cut your throat make you mute?"

I was twelve, somehow allowed to sit in on meetings about drugs, prostitution, and the kind of business no kid had any business listening to. Dante and I were so excited, my mom not so much, my dad gave us so many rules. "Don't talk, look at whoever is talking, and nod no matter how outlandish the topic sounds. Understand?"

We got dressed in the morning, our best suits and sat in the back of the room. They started they’re normal talk, shipments going out, who would be going to observe certain parts of our territory, and what they needed to bring in. It wasn't until I spoke up about a certain territory and who should watch over it that got my throat slit.

"Why isn't anyone watching the New Coast territory?" I spoke up. Eyes darted in my direction, my dad's eyes shot daggers at me. "What did you say?" My nonno asked. I shook my head and looked down at the ground, "I'll give you a reason to shut the hell up!"

"No, I'm doing my own bidding. Do you remember Kehlani Calzada?" I asked, moving closer to him. He smiled a sinister smile, "Ah yes, Kehlani, or as everyone else called her, butterfly."

He cocked his head to the side, "I'm surprised you remember me."

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"Do what? Destroy her? You’re funny. She deserved it, no black person belongs in the mafia. She's a half breed, Theodore. Kehlani does not belong with us."

I got closer to him, the gun sitting right on top of his chest. "You're young, but still an old head at heart. You really are cruel."

"We did more than what you think, Theodore. There's a scar on her back, that was from one of the men taking a lead pipe and beating her with it." my knuckles went white, "I mean, come on. You know how we feel about not keeping our Italian blood. You're eventually gonna get tired of her, trust me. Giovanni did it with her mother." He mumbled. I pulled the trigger, blood splattered all over my face.

I left his body slouched over his desk, the person he was on the phone with was screaming in Italian. "You tell anyone what you just heard, and I'll come find you and kill you myself." I hung the phone up and quickly made my way down to the front of the building. I jumped into my car and sped off to where we were hiding. As I changed out of my bloody hoodie, I felt my burner phone go off, "Hello?"

"James somehow got into the house while Kehlani was home alone."

"Leo? Haven't heard from you in a while."

"I know, I know. Lani is worried sick about you, too much to acknowledge that James even snuck into her house."

"What? Is she okay? Do I need to come home now?"

"Preferably, but Dante and your dad filled me in. I'm staying with Lani until you get back, dumbass. Next time, tell someone besides your family and capos. She'd kill me if I knew where you were and what you're doing and didn't tell her."

I sighed, my eyes still on the road. I knew the risks that came with this, mentally, relationship-wise, and physically. I wasn't killing anyone, well I just did, but why was I feeling guilt? I needed to protect her from any danger, help her overcome her past trauma.

"Theo? You still there?" Leo snapped me out of my thoughts. I took a deep breath and parked in front of the building we were staying at. "Yeah, sorry, I just got lost in my head. I'm almost done here, just need to get a few more arrested and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Good, she talks about you a lot. Please just come back soon before I knock your head off."

"Yeah, got it. Call me if you need anything."

After we ended the call, I just sat in the car in silence. The weight of it all was hitting me like a hailstorm, my hands were left bloody. I wasn't able to wash my hands clean, my mind was clouded and completely taken over what has happened in the past two months.

My heart was heavy with this guilt that I had no idea how to handle it. It was mixed with the anger and sadness and confusion that I had never experienced before. I was lost and the one person I felt that could understand and help me was halfway across the world in a house that wasn't even truly safe. I buried my face into my still bloody hands and let it out. Not even tears, just screams. Screaming at the top of my lungs, punching the steering wheel, the dashboard, the seat, anything in reach of me.

What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I feel like I had to do this? Was I doing this to prove my love to Lani or to prove to my famiglia I could take care of business?

What was this all for?

I felt a tear fall from my eye, but didn’t let it fall on my clothes. I pulled myself together, taking a deep breath. The sun was setting, the day almost over. I really needed Lani, but she was gonna freak out if she knew what I was doing. I got out of the car and dragged my feet up to our apartment.

"Hey, did you do it?" Cruz looked up from his phone. I nodded and closed the door, "Yeah, I did. Are the others dead?"

He stood up and walked over to the little table in the dining room. "Aldo, Matteo, and Nico all shot execution style." He set three newspapers down in front of me. Headlines are still the same.

"So Giuseppe and James are left? Good, we'll go after Giuseppe. Not kill him, but arrest him. Give him the worst torture of a lifetime."

Cruz nodded, "You sure?" I sat down, my mind going at 100 miles per hour. "Yeah, I'm sure. I wanna get home to her. James is getting bolder and bolder with her and I'm not there."

After deciding not to eat anything for dinner, I took a long shower to try and distract myself. The water ran down my back, along with the blood that was on my hands. I couldn't hide from the reality of what I was really doing. How could I? Blood was literally on my hands for countless arrests and murders. Lani was home alone while her abuser was getting closer and closer to her.

I looked at myself in the mirror, something I never did. Dark circles, bags under my eyes, my chest and arms had lost some of their muscle. Who was this guy that was staring back at me? I didn't know him. it wasn't me.

By the time I was done and calmed down, Cruz was already asleep on the couch. I turned all the lights off and walked to my room. I looked at the picture of Lani and I at her birthday party. We hated each other so much, but somehow, I was so enamored with her.

I need her, I need to get out of the hell I created. She was my saving grace, she was my heaven.

hi my loves!!!! im back! sorry it took so long, I went through a writer's block and couldn't get out but I found it. anyways, hope you liked this chapter! see you soon! (im not kidding this time, im writing right now.) mwah!