Era of Madness

As I walk to my own death

(Tyler's viewpoint)

Oh, I get it, now. The reason why Mavarel didn't order the undead to finish us, John and me. Instead, because of regret, or whatever reason he could have. For their last moment, he decided to organize this little play. This way, even though their minds are already long gone, those puppets can at least leave in a slightly human way.

How ironic. The ones that have been dead for decades will leave peaceful, while I'll end as miserably as one could. But in the end, can I say that I didn't deserve it? No, of course.

It reminds me... I never got to know what got Mavarel and Jack convinced that one day, some Day of Judgement would arrive and condemn everyone, both living and dead, to the eternal suffering. I already know it's not Saginus, and it's unbelievable that both sank into madness at the same time and to this degree. Should I've tried to ask?

Now, it won't really matter for me anyway. Though, thinking about it... can it be related to the judgment John talked about while hallucinating?

"Oh, fuck you John... You know I love to know secret about stuff... and yet you kept your mouth shut" I complain as, once again, nobody can hear me. "Now, it's your problem"

Oh, it's finally there. I can't feel anything in my entire body. Yet, it's as if my five senses are overflowed with information and, at the same time, my mind is troubled. Is this the hallucinations? Heh, let's hope they are pleasant...

Unfortunately... it doesn't seem like it. As I open my eyes, Irealize that I'm alone, at the beginning of a very long silver and gold checked corridor. I start walking along the way. At first, I see nothing, but as I keep walking. No sound except the ones of my steps. After a while, I see things hanging to the ceiling in the distance. I can't discern at all what they are.

But as I get closer, I start to realize. People. Lifeless bodies hanging on the sides of the long corridor. I want to stop, but my body doesn't listen. Please, stop. PLEASE STOP! I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT!

I... I don't wanna see that...

The corpses finally become clear in his sight. They all look alike, and none of them has a face. There's only one difference between those on the left and those on the right: the formers wear uniforms, while the latters wear suits or vacation clothes.

On the left, all the soldiers that died because of my actions during the terminal's battle, even though they were only doing their job. On the right, the undeads I ended while fighting Mavarel, potential ripping them from their only chance of obtaining salvation.

No... no... they all attacked me... I was just defending myself... it's not my fault...

"It's not... it's not my fault..."

Nobody replies. Just the sound of my steps. If I survive today, how many more people will die? I know I won't start a new galactic war no matter what, but...

Wait, why do I assume I won't? All this time, all I ever did was lying, killing, and causing chaos wherever I went. Who am I to say I won't?

Oh, look at me. I'm dying and all I'm able to do is self-depreciating. Both fun and pathetic, haha, such a great, great, fucking perfect summary of my life.

If I die, wouldn't it just be better for everyone? I don't want to answer to my own question, because I already know the answer.

I keep walking. Faceless corpses are replaced by more familiar ones. I see Melia on a side, Mavarel on the other. Both of their eyes were following him.

"It's not my fault" I say. "I'm tired of this shit, IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT! You all, what does it change if you guys have some sad crybaby backstories? In the end, you were just some rotten pieces of shit! Life is precious? Killing is never right? It only apply when the victims aren't fucking mass-murderers! I'm better, I'm better! Maybe I'm a piece of shit too, maybe I deserve to die, but at least I am and I'll always be better than you fucking trash!"