An Act of... Love? [An Avengers Polyamorous Fanfic]

Chapter 90

I sat in the back seat numbly, Natasha on one side and Bucky on my other. They were talking to me, I knew that. But nothing was quite getting through to me. I could tell they were worried and somewhere inside I felt bad that I'd gone nonresponsive. But my brain was shutting down.

I wasn't going to Astrea; I was just dissociating heavily. I wasn't quite present, but I wasn't traveling elsewhere. I was just... numb.

I was vaguely aware of Steve on the car's intercom talking to various members of the Avengers, but nothing was sticking.

When we arrived back at the safe house Loki was there immediately. He ended up picking me up in his arms and cradling me to him. We ended up on the couch as the Avengers fretted over me, but the entire time I couldn't help but blankly stare into the abyss.

Occasionally phrases would stick in my brain momentarily, but I was so absent that I couldn't tune in or accurately tell who was speaking.

"It's a protection method-" Bruce, I think.

"Please, lamb-" That was probably Loki.

"Secure the perimeter-" Bucky, perhaps.

"It wouldn't qualify-" I think that one was involved in a discussion of calling the police. I knew the police would be useless. Not only had they been useless my entire life, but technically, Veronica hadn't done anything. She didn't even get close to me.

"Hey, Ollie," I registered Bruce kneeling in front of me. "If you can hear me, can you blink?" Could I blink? Did I have any control? I tried doing as he asked but I had no clue if it worked. "I'm going to try some things to bring you back, if that's okay," he continued gently. It was sweet, trying to make sure he communicated everything to me even though I was scantly aware of anything happening.

Bruce did as he said and tried some methods in an attempt to ground me. A soft blanket. Ice. The smell of... something. Unsure what. It was strong... peppermint, maybe? I think there was music, too. I couldn't tell you what it was, though. Everything was fuzzy and covered in a general haze. Like there was a cloud of fog situated between me and reality.

"Okay..." Bruce muttered to himself. Loki squeezed around my shoulders, and I gently leaned into him.

"That's good, princess. Focus on me," his distorted voice murmured. A hand ran through my hair and I felt closer... but not quite there.