An Act of... Love? [An Avengers Polyamorous Fanfic]

Chapter 40

I mostly stayed quiet and watched the avengers who were present play around and laugh. Wanda kept her arms secured around me and Pietro would occasionally massage my legs that were flung over his lap.

Slowly, more people began to trickle into the room, and it was becoming a lot to deal with. Wanda was pretty focused on Nat and Clint who were once again wrestling in the middle of the room, so I don't think she was paying attention to my thoughts as people's emotions began to crowd me.

I pushed their feelings down as much as I could and tried to enjoy being in their presence. Because I did miss them all, and I missed the electricity that would shoot through me when we touched.

Although there was a prickle of fear in the back of my mind. Because the more I tried to pull back from their emotions to contain the overwhelm, the more I could feel myself slowly slipping. But I didn't know how, exactly, to pull myself back.

I found myself staring out at Natasha and Clint, but I didn't feel grounded at all. It was like I was slowly slipping away from my body, but I didn't know how to make myself return. This was different than other times I'd fallen into the void of my own mind. Instead, I was still present... almost in a trance staring out at the wrestling avengers, but it's like I wasn't really in my body. Almost like I was hovering over myself, just watching the scene play out.

I tried to plead with my brain, with my powers. With whatever would listen to just let me return, but none of it seemed to be working. And the more disconnected I felt, the more the electric buzz of Wanda and Pietro's touch faded away from me.

Somehow, that's what scared me most. To know I was in contact with them but for the feeling I'd become accustomed to, to be completely absent. I wondered if I lost myself completely, if the feeling would fade for them as well.

It was weird, slowly watching the world slip into a cloudy and dark haze. Like the sun was going down, and the world was getting darker and darker, until finally, there was nothing left but the dark...