Haven ✔️

Ch. 68 Goodbye For Now

Jamie's P.O.V.
I didn't think Drift would decide Sunstreaker should take me to Panera Bread alone. Sunstreaker looks as if he was just told about a pop quiz and is unprepared. Does he think the others will argue I'm in danger if I go out with him alone? What is going on with him? Drift talks to him in private before we leave.

I take his hand as we walk down the street. Sensing his anxiety is rising, but it's not bad.
"I wonder if the ducks are around," I comment.
"Then we can go to the park."
Even with his anxiety, he doesn't mind being out without our friends longer.

"They didn't say anything about bringing cookies back, but we better," Sunstreaker tells me, ordering a dozen chocolate chip cookies and four warmed chocolate chip cookies. Along with two bottles of milk, "this is not going to work to dip the cookies."
"They'll still be good."
We put the box of cookies in my bag until we're away from people, and Sunstreaker can put the box in his subspace.

We find a table under a light by the pond. Sunstreaker puts the box in his subspace. It's bright enough to see the ducks, but they're grouped in a spot, ready to sleep.
"No spoiling the ducks tonight," Sunstreaker smiles, "I think they've had enough bread," Sunstreaker's phone dings, "and I think I've worried everyone," he says while reading the message.
"You fucking had a seizure today. Your energy changes when your anxiety rises."
I didn't think tears would be rolling down my face.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
This is not what I wanted in terms of knowing where our friendship stands. No way she'd be like this then not care if we're friends come January, but I don't want her crying. I sit on the bench beside her and move her onto my lap to hug her.
"Shh, I'm ok. It's been hard to learn how to befriend anyone, especially humans."
Now would be a good time to tell her about Lily, but I trust Drift when he says to wait until the two femmes can meet.
Jamie is quick to calm down. I get her to finish the cookies. I eat mine while holding her.

We walk back to the base at six-thirty.
"Wow, she came back alive," a guard whispers.
I find out Jamie heard that by how her hand moves in mine.
"Forget about them."
I pull her a little to keep her walking.

"You want me to deal with them?" I ask.
"No! You'll get in trouble."
I stop and crouch down to look at her.
"Calm down, I won't do anything."

We find out friends in the lounge room. It's only six, and we decide to watch a movie after I warm up half the cookies I bought. I can get milk and glasses. The rest of the night is planned.

Drift isn't sure what to think as I tell him, Crosshairs, Lightning, and Sideswipe what happened while Jamie and I were out.
"I think you have the answer you want," Sideswipe argues.
Crosshairs and Lightning agree.
I'm not telling them about the guard and her reaction to my sarcasm. Doubt they'd agree it's sarcasm. I don't think the guards will target Jamie before she goes home.
We've had the same routine for the past two months, which Jamie's guardians say is normal even after Jamie is cleared to workout. She'll just add that to the schedule. I'm hoping Ratchet will let me workout with her. I know she'll need to take it easy at first.

I'm still surprised Jamie pulls me towards the medbay the morning of her appointment, even though Crosshairs and Drift are going with her.
You don't think she's hoping Ratchet will ensure I'm ok? I ask Sideswipe through the bond.
Maybe, but it's been six days, and he has not asked you to go to the medbay.

The appointment takes ten minutes. Ratchet says Jamie has recovered and can go back to working out. I stay behind while the others leave to talk to Ratchet about working out with Jamie.

Ratchet agrees that I can workout with Jamie. I tell Ratchet I know to start slow. He tells me of warning signs she's doing too much too soon. Jamie may need to take this slower than others, returning to working out after a break.
Of course, Ratchet changes the subject to after Jamie leaves. I am questioning if I should continue medication. Though I'm still on the medication, Ratchet has me on.
"I'd like to say no, but I don't know."
Ratchet thinks we can try to get me off medication soon after Jamie goes home.

Jamie tells her guardians she can workout. We talk about going to the training room. I didn't think they'd mean right now.

I feel like I'm teaching a class with the others joining Jamie and me doing stretches. This only lasts briefly before Jamie complains that she wants to lift weights. I get her on the treadmill but at a walking pace. The others agree with me. Jamie'l knows she's supposed to start slowly, but hates it.

"This was a good forty-five minutes," Drift smiles.
"I know we're not going to be working out often," I tell him, "I'm thinking three more days before the three of you leave," Drift agrees, and we figure out days we're working out in the training room and the pool, and when it's a rest day, "oh boy, I'm thinking getting her to rest will be a challenge."
"Maybe you can convince her to do art or Sideswipe playing video games."

The routine we've been doing stays mostly the same. There's a few days that we add working out.

November first comes fast. Just like with Lily, I hate saying goodbye to Jamie. Her guardians worry about me no matter how often I tell them I'll be fine. Even with Lightning and Sideswipe arguing, they'll ensure I'm ok.
"Hopefully, next year, we all can go with them," Sideswipe says as our friends drive through the portal.
Hopefully, they'll return in January, and Lily can return to the base. I feel like I shouldn't be thinking I'll have two human femme friends yet or even hope. I hate this. Would it be too soon to hope these feelings will fade eventually?
"This won't last forever," Lightning smiles and hugs me, "things will get better."