Haven ✔️

Ch. 49 Worse Than Before

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
"You will be sent to Cybertron!" Prowl yells.
Lily watches me in my bipedal form be forced into the spacebridge, being hugged by Sideswipe. I see tears rolling down her face while Jamie, her guardians, and her sister watch, pissed at me, but I know they're pleased.
I wake up, hyperventilating. It's too early to contact anyone. I block my side of the bond before my anxiety wakes Sideswipe up. Not expecting to need to throw up.

By the time I reach the toilet, I feel dizzy.
Do I text Ratchet or not?
"Sunstreaker?!"
I was so worried about getting to the toilet that I didn't close the door. 
It's not like I enjoy this, but why did my anxiety issue stop until now? While I've been threatened with being sent back to Cybertron for weeks since Jamie came here.
Lying on the floor isn't helping Sideswipe's concern.

Sideswipe stayed in the bathroom until I felt like I wouldn't throw up and could go back to bed. Hoping I can sleep.

Sideswipe's P.O.V.
This is concerning. I don't know if we should be alerting Ratchet now. I go back to sleep.

I'm up at seven.
Sideswipe: I'm taking over Sunstreaker's patrol. Don't ask why.
Prowl: You don't just decide to take his patrol!
I have time to talk to Ratchet.

"This is concerning. Add what happened last night," Ratchet comments, "I don't think I need to run tests."
I don't know if I should like Prowl walks into Ratchet's office. Prowl immediately scolds me for taking Sunstreaker's patrol. I didn't think Ratchet would tell Prowl what was going on.
"Fine, take Sunstreaker's patrol," Prowl tells me and leaves the medbay. Now Drift walks into the office, concerned seeing Prowl was just here. Helping Sunstreaker is going to be harder this time. I go on patrol before Prowl gets more pissed at me.

Sunstreaker is still asleep when I return to my room. He's probably going to be asleep until noon. Wish he didn't block his side of the bond.

I walk into Jamie's medbay room, happy she's eating. 
"I think we should tell her," Crosshairs whispers.
"She'll think he's faking it," I point out, "even if we tell her, even if she sees this situation is now causing anxiety for herself."
It's feeling like there's nothing we can do. How long before Optimus and Prowl decide they've waited long enough?
"I'll go upstairs once Jamie is asleep," Drift decides, "but I don't know how much help I can be, or even Rung. Unless things get better, Sunstreaker will be dealing with this."
What's she thinking we're talking about?
I look at Jamie, who is hopefully not questioning what we're talking about.

Jamie is allowed to walk to the lounge room. I hope Jamie holding on to the IV pole is enough support. She isn't bothered that Drift isn't coming with us. Drift could be waiting three hours for Sunstreaker to wake up, but he wants to talk to Sunstreaker before Sunstreaker leaves our room rather than waiting for Jamie to nap.

Drift's P.O.V.
Sideswipe gave me the code to his and Sunstreaker's room
I sit on Sideswipe's before. I'm risking Jamie panicking, but I can't ignore this issue.
Sunstreaker is up at eleven. Immediately not liking I'm here and not with Jamie. Even while being told Crosshairs and Sideswipe are with her. I don't know how to help him until Jamie trusts him. I can tell he is terrified that he'll be sent to Cybertron and lose Lily. Though who knows if Sideswipe would be allowed to visit. Sunstreaker tells me he hates how Jamie hates him and how she's terrified he'll kill Crosshairs and me. That nightmare has stopped for now, but I don't think it's for good yet. I didn't think this conversation would result in an anxiety attack. These are getting harder to help. There's so much fear and sadness in his eyes.

"You need to talk to Ratchet," I tell him once he's calm.
"No," he cries and hugs me.
I don't know why he's afraid to talk to Ratchet. This is definitely unusual and concerning regardless of the Cybertronian exhibiting this behavior.

Once Sunstreaker is in the cafeteria, I talk to Optimus and Prowl.
"He can't fake any of this," Optimus reminds Prowl, "what he's been dealing with is concerning. I'm not sure if we can help, and it's going to be some time if we can show Jamie that Sunstreaker wants to be her friend. He needs to talk to Ratchet to get any kind of drug help. I would like to understand why he's afraid to talk to Ratchet."
"You better get back to Jamie. We'll figure something out," Prowl tells me.
Even while they're figuring out a temporary solution to Sunstreaker's anxiety, I don't like leaving without a solution.

Jamie is distracted watching T.V. I don't like telling Crosshairs or Sideswipe what happened.
"I think we're going to have to be extreme for a while," Sideswipe says, "like Sunstreaker is unarmed and Prowl is with us extreme. Not sure if we have to go as far as Sunstreaker is cuffed."
"I wonder if bringing up friends she believed to be good would help Jamie?' Crosshairs questions, "have Knockout talk to her."
I am trying to figure out what we can do. Jamie's recovery from the surgery comes first.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
It's empty in the cafeteria. By now, everyone has eaten. I don't know what I'm going to do now. My anxiety is turning into a problem. I know sudden passing out isn't good, but last night's weird feelings and thoughts...

After eating, I go to my art room. Hoping painting will help, but I'm thinking about whether Lily will come back, or did we do our last painting together in June? I know Jamie likes drawing on her tablet. I sit on the floor, uncertain of what to do.

"Sunstreaker?" I hear Drift. I look at him, "come with me to the medbay."
"No."
"You need to talk to Ratchet. I can't ask him to give you anything to help you."

After I talk to Ratchet and he gives me medication, Drift gets me in Jamie's medbay room.
Jamie is asleep. Drift wants me to stay here until she wakes up, but I think we need to wait until she's recovered from the surgery.
"I don't think we can wait two months," Drift argues.
I know he's worried about nightmares. Hoping we can get them to stop in under two months. I sit by the bed and sigh. Taking Jamie's hand, hoping this doesn't wake her up.
"I'm sorry, Sideswipe is right. We can help each other. Your family is safe."
I need to get out of here.
"Sunstreaker!"