Haven ✔️

Ch. 45 A Long Road Ahead

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
Uncertain about what I can do to support Jamie's guardians and sister, I haven't returned to the medbay in five hours. Sideswipe spent most of the day there. I should have known he'd tell Jamie's guardians, Lightning and the medics how I blame myself.
"You can't blame yourself," Drift argues, "actually, I think you helped. Even if Jadin would have eventually gotten Jamie alone—."
"So I work for her now, really helping Drift."
"It's hard to know how much of her mental state is because of what you've been trying to do or Jadin, but if you didn't care, you would have left Jamie to die."
It doesn't matter; enough damage has been done to the point where Jamie thinks this all needs to end. Who knows what she'll be thinking when she wakes up. 
Drift insists I see Jamie with him, Crosshairs, and Lightning. Sideswipe also joins us.

The room is quiet as we sit by the bed. Drift let me sit closest to Jamie and hold her hand. I know he does not like that he can't hold her.
For now, she's stable. Everything could be fine until she wakes up. Then who knows what we'll be dealing with? 
Ratchet checks on Jamie, but I didn't think he'd say anything about the device he removed.
"I didn't think I'd be able to get anything from this," he starts, "but every time Jadin attacked Jamie mentally is recorded."
"And?" Crosshairs asks.
"You know I asked you two to let me know when Jamie has a rough day — except for after Buddy died— and backtrack the best you could. Some dates on the device match my notes, but I don't think Jadin influenced all of Jamie's rough days. It's complicated, but Jadin didn't help the current situation and what Jamie was thinking. I'm hoping Jamie no longer thinks she needs to end the adventure."
That's not helping things, Ratchet.
"This doesn't make things easier when Jamie wakes up," Drift sighs, "thinking about ending the adventure is one thing, and possibly easy to deal with, but....when she thinks Crosshairs and I are in danger of being killed by Sunstreaker. I don't know if she thinks Sideswipe and Lightning are in danger."
Lightning couldn't believe what Drift said.
"Get out!" Lightning yells, "your fragging aft should be back on Cybertron!"
The femme storms out of the room and the medbay.
"Sideswipe with me," Crosshairs says as he stands up.
The two run out of the medbay.
"No, Crosshairs, don't!" I yell, but the two mechs ignore me, "scrap, so now he'll defend me, and Lightning will be pissed at him."
"He'll be fine. They might argue, but Lightning won't be pissed at him," Drift claims.
"I shouldn't be here. I'm leaving."
I ignore Drift as I leave the medbay.

I sit in the hallway close to Optimus and Prowl's offices. I don't have to wait long before Ironhide walks down the hall, but he looks at me, confused. He leans on the wall by me but says nothing.

We wait ten minutes before Optimus, Crosshairs, Lightning, and Sideswipe leave the office.
"What's going on?" Ironhide asks.
"I'm going to Cybertron," I tell him, "I know you think this can work, Prime, but I don't think this will work. Jamie is terrified of me, and Lightning hates me."
"It's true," Crosshairs sighs, "but Drift and I think we need to work on this. Sideswipe is still right about how Jamie and Sunstreaker being friends can be a good thing. We know she might still have the nightmare for a while."
"I don't want her having nightmares," Lightning sighs.
"But I told you she will be afraid Sunstreaker will return to finish the job if we decide he needs to leave," Crosshairs reminds her.
"Did I make a mistake?" Sideswipe asks.
"No," Optimus assures him, "you see how Sunstreaker is with Lily, but Jamie's mental struggle adds to the challenges we have to deal with."
"But will she go too far?" I ask, "and the others will believe I murdered her."
"We'll keep her safe," Crosshairs assures me, "Drift will want to stay close to her for a while, considering the surgery she just had."
I still worry that this will not go well.

Sideswipe's P.O.V.
I look at Jamie, feeling like she wouldn't be here if I didn't suggest Sunstreaker try to befriend her, but what would we be dealing with if we didn't know about the device and finally remove it?
"Jamie is complicated," I hear Drift say as he sits next to me, "I hate knowing she'd likely be struggling like she was before she left with Mirage, even if Sunstreaker wasn't trying to befriend her. Even the thought of ending this adventure. No matter how much Crosshairs and I show her love," Drift sighs, "come on, let's go watch TV."
It's funny hearing Drift say we should watch TV for a while. I know he worries Jamie will decline. I worry he's forcing himself to leave Jamie for a while.
"Are you trying to make yourself leave?" I ask.
Drift sighs, "Ratchet will scold me eventually, but I..."
"I know it's hard to leave the medbay considering the major surgery she had. You know the medics are closely monitoring her. Are you able to stay here overnight?"
"I hope so, though I don't know if I'll sleep."

Ratchet's P.O.V.
Jasmine, Jolt, and I didn't think we'd watch Drift leaving the medbay with Sideswipe.
"No way Sideswipe convinced him," Jolt suspects.
"Drift knows I'd tell him to leave for a while," I remind him, "I know he's worried about p Jamie, but he ends up neglecting himself."
"Uh, so where's Crosshairs?" Jasmine worries, "I worry about him hiding how this is affecting him."

I find Crosshairs in the conference room. He's not pleased I walked into the room. I sit on the chair next to him, seeing his phone on, showing a picture of him, Drift, Lightning, and Jamie on the beach two years ago. Clearly, he's hiding how worried he is that Jamie could become critical. Drift may be calm now, but I fear he'll have nightmares that Jamie died and be a wreck tomorrow. 
"What happened?!" Crosshairs asks.
"Nothing, she's stable. Drift is calm for now. I didn't think you'd be a wreck."
"You know how he'll be just from dreaming Jamie is critical, and obviously, letting him not sleep close to Jamie isn't an option. I'm so tired of watching them deal with shit, and there's not much I can do."
"He'll need your support until Jamie wakes up, and both will need you as she recovers. It's hard watching Jamie struggle. From what Optimus told me and what I've seen the past two months, Jamie's mental health has deteriorated since I last saw her. It's hard knowing there's not much we can do."
It's not great hearing Crosshairs is expecting Jamie to get sick. It's possible after the surgery I did. There are ways to prevent Jamie from getting pneumonia. This is a minor complication compared to the rest, but I'd still like to avoid Jamie getting sick.
"We need to talk to the terror twins," Crosshairs sighs, "and Lightning."
We will need to talk to everyone once Jamie wakes up and we see what we're dealing with, but I see why Crosshairs believes we need to talk to the twins now. I know Lightning will be around to support her brother and Drift.

"... we'll do all we can to prevent any complications," I assure the three, "but it's still possible."
"Drift will worry even after Jamie wakes up," Crosshairs adds.
"Who wouldn't worry?" Sunstreaker asks, "especially after the major surgery she just had and knowing I'm trying to befriend her."
Crosshairs isn't sure how well Sunstreaker can support Drift but isn't telling him to stay away from the medbay. This is going to be challenging even after Jamie wakes up.