Haven ✔️

Ch. 34 Jamie's Fear

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
Sideswipe is by my side when I wake up.
"They got you too," he tells me, "but this kind of poison kept you asleep," he looks at his phone, "for fifteen hours."
I thought I was also paralyzed since I couldn't move my right arm until I see Jamie.
"Get her off me. I don't want her to panic."
Sideswipe frowns as he takes Jamie to her room in the medbay. I wonder if Jamie is done with treatment since she wasn't on an IV?
I clearly am not done with treatment from whatever Steve injected.
"What happened?" Ratchet asks as he reads what I assume are my blood test results.
"Someone obviously poisoned me, but I don't know who," I lie.
"Really? How stupid do you think I am?! Unlike Jamie, who had her drink tainted, you were poisoned by injection. You had to have seen who did it."
"Not if they knocked me out first."
Ratchet angrily walks out of the room.

An hour passes before Crosshairs walks into my room while Drift walks right by. I tell him Ratchet has already interrogated me. I'd like to tell them Steve is behind all this, but what worries me is Jadin's plan if he ever got discovered. I doubt she'd only kill Steve. I ask him if I can do anything to get Drift not to be furious at me. 
"You think I'm not?!" He rages, "you killed one of the few human friends Jamie has, and the first she had to work towards. Unlike Victoria, Cade, Izzy, Tessa, and Vivian already call themselves Jamie's friends and understand how complicated she is. Victoria was a human who knew very little about Jamie but still wanted to be Jamie's friend. We're going to Victoria's funeral, ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!"
Crosshairs leaves the room. I think Ratchet was taking his anger out on me while trying to figure out what happened to me. 

I watch Crosshairs and Drift walk by Twenty minutes later. Drift carrying Jamie, who already looks sad. Has she cried already? 
Sideswipe walks in, confirming Jamie has already cried. He tells me he's not going to the funeral. We're both unsure what to do now. 

Optimus Prime's P.O.V.
Even though this is a funeral for a human, she served with us. Doesn't matter if we haven't engaged in battle with the Decepticons. I watch Drift take Jamie out of the room halfway through the service. No matter how often some watch friends die, they can't get used to it. It's still hard for me, but I can hide my sadness until I can go to my room. 

"So, when are you telling her?" Prowl asks me after the funeral.
"Is there even a right time?"
"Not really."
"Ratchet says Sunstreaker will be released tomorrow. I'll tell her later tonight."

Drift and Jamie are asleep when I go to their room.
"Send his aft to Diago Garcia now!" Crosshairs rages, "or better yet, Cybertron. I'm not watching her cry like this every fragging night. If she's not crying, she's dealing with anxiety."
"You two need to trust me. I know it will be rough, but Sideswipe is right, and you two know it."
I take a look at Drift, and Jamie asleep before leaving. 
It hurts. I have two soldiers who are also my friends not trusting me, and soon three.

"I-I don't know, Prime," Sunstreaker tells me when asked what his plan is, "all three hate me. I know what Jamie has been dealing with and will deal with until she trusts me, or I have to be sent away. What can I even do?"
I give him my suggestions which will only work if he talks to Crosshairs and Drift, which we both know will result in an argument.

I spend the next three hours thinking of what to say when I talk to Jamie, hating that I have to make today harder for her. I hate asking Ratchet to be involved with a relaxant, just in case. 

"YOU'RE LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH MURDER?!" Jamie rages.
"No, listen to me—."
Jamie tries to run off to find Sunstreaker, but to my surprise, Drift puts a hold on her. Both Crosshairs and Drift try to calm her down. For once, I am glad they have a process to calm her down instead of guessing what might work. I hate the look of fear on Jamie's face.
I explain the plan to her and remind her this is like a punishment for Sunstreaker.
"...I don't like how afraid you are to be around him, afraid he'll hurt these two. Even if it won't be a problem on the battlefield, I can't ignore this."
Explaining how we think her being friends with Sunstreaker can help them both won't help right now. I let Crosshairs and Drift take Jamie back to their room.
She knows. Now it's up to her and Sunstreaker to show us if he's staying here or punishment.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
Damn, I know I shouldn't eavesdrop since she can sense my energy, but I'm glad I took the chance as she was told the plan. I figured she'd be furious, but I may have gotten some valuable information. She's going to get anxious being with me — though I doubt I'll be allowed to be alone with her until she's past having anxiety being near me — I know what works to calm her down. This will likely be useful after we're past her fear of me.

Jamie's P.O.V.
I don't like this idea. I know Sunstreaker's history. I suspect Sideswipe is behind this idea. He wouldn't suggest this just to keep Sunstreaker from being locked up. Prime is right; this is like a punishment for Sunstreaker. 
"You know we will keep you safe," Drift assures me as we sit on the couch. Crosshairs turns on the TV.
What would he say if I told him I worry Sunstreaker will kill him or Crosshairs? I try to watch T.V. and ignore my worries.

I'm up at two in the morning after a fragging nightmare, thinking I need to look at the security footage from the night Sunstreaker attacked me.

I didn't think I had access to Red Alert's office and that I'd have to use instant transmission.
Trying to figure out Red's system is difficult. Twenty minutes pass before I figure out his system.
"What are you doing in here?" A voice asks.
I thought it was Red Alert...but it's Sunstreaker. Fuck, I'm cornered now.
"Easy, I'm not going to hurt you," he says as he walks towards me. I don't think anyone is around to hear me scream. Why am I paralyzed with fear?
"You had no problem killing her! Just kill me already," I say while trembling.
Sunstreaker looks at me, shocked.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
I know this is what Jamie has been thinking, but it's still shocking to hear. Jamie's trembling slowly turns into an anxiety attack. I have her sit on the floor, quickly text Drift — though I will be in trouble — and try to calm Jamie down. 
"I'm not going to hurt you."

Drift rushes in; I move out of his way and leave the room. I didn't think Sideswipe would be with Crosshairs.
"You can leave now," Crosshairs angrily tells me before entering the room.
"Come on, she'll be ok," Sideswipe insists.
"No, it's concerning she's here in Red Alert's office. I worry she's looking for the security footage of Paul and his friends attacking her, and she still thinks I did it."
Sideswipe insists I text Crosshairs and Drift that we need to talk tomorrow before going to our room.

I lay in bed, bothered by Jamie's reaction to seeing me. I don't think that's like her. How could she survive Jadin's attacks if this is how she reacts? Or even our enemies since she fears one of us will offline in battle? But I terrify her that she's paralyzed with fear.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I missed my patrol. I didn't think Sideswipe would do my patrol for me.
Sideswipe: I figured you've been up thinking about Jamie. I'm doing your patrol so you can sleep in.          
I didn't think Drift would reply to my text, nor would he want to talk to me, even if it's about Jamie.

"All I have to say is Jamie was looking for the security footage of the day Paul and his friends attacked her. Then you saw what happened when she saw me," I tell Drift before walking away. 
I can te Drift is still furious at me. At this point, this goal is to avoid the punishment everyone thinks I deserve, and my goal to be Jamie's friend is impossible.