𝑨𝑫𝑫𝑰𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑺

CHAPTER 19

(TW: This chapter contains many trigger points and trauma of the character's childhood. Please skip this chapter if you can't read any violent act. Thank you, and don't forget to remember that this isn't real.)

Kaan

I didn't actually blew his mind, I shot him in the shoulder so he would have to suffer more. Killing someone right away is no fun for me.

Alessandro lets out an loud noice, before landing on his knees, while murmuring something. I walked up to Jay and looked down on him. His hands are completely bruised, his lower lip was busted open and I could recognize fresh blood on his clothes.

Every corner of my body began to burn because of anger.

"Be grateful that I hadn't already cutten off your fucking dick, If you even have one. You asshole", I look at Alessandro, who was hissing in pain now.

I picked up Jay in a piggy-back, ignoring every single pain my body gives me. I clench my jaw as I walk to one of the many cars and open the backseat. There was glass everywhere but there was no time to go back anymore. I took the glass with my bare hands as if it was nothing, and threw them out, while cutting my fingers multiple times.

After I layed him down and closed the door, I threw myself on the frontseat. The carkeys were still here and I turned on the motor.
I press my lips together as I try to drive with my right hand and looked at it. It was full with cuts and blood.

I praid that Jay wasn't that bad injured.

It's easy to hate yourself when you were always in a shadow of other's, no matter how much you tried to get out. When even your parents couldn't look at you anymore and locked themselves up with work.

I can't remember the last time I ever saw them smiling at me again, after Artemis' death. For them, I'm just a marionette. To continue the family tradition: the company.
And I don't even have the courage to say something against it or speak up for myself.

I hate to be afraid of my future.

I hate being forced to act like someone I'm not.

I hate to always be perfect infront of them.

And suddenly, I can't remember anything about my life anymore. Just this one memory is the only thing, that popped up. A memory that I tried to forget.

I see myself sitting on a grey chair, something hard and metallic on my right wrist. It wasn't just something, it was an wristband that electrified someone, everytime the other person presses a button.

I was sitting in my mothers home-office, infront of her big computer screen. I could see her long dark hair falling on her shoulders, as she clicks with a mouse on a file. It was a video.

She takes a step back so I would see everything, while she was looking at me. As the video begins, I could recognize a young boy, who was 5, like me in that moment. The young boy was walking home, when a group of teenage boys stopped him. They all had bats in their hands and suddenly, they began to kick the young boy in the stomach, punching his face, hitting him several times with the bat everywhere.

I could hear myself screaming, pressing my eyes together as I felt an electric shock coming from my right arm, going in every little corner of my body.

"Open your eyes", my mother unimpressingly said. She forced me to continue looking at the screen. Everytime I closed my eyes or looked away, she pressed the button. Everytime I made a noise, she pressed the button. And everytime she pressed it, a tear escaped my eyes. I had to sit still for 10 minutes long, watching a children getting both of his arms broken by some teenages. I clenched my eyes shut when they pulled out an burning cigarette and pressed it against the young boy's leg.

But I was forced to watch every single scene of it or I'll get hurt, she told me. "Do you want to get hurt, Khanh?", my mother asked me. I immediately shook my head. She pressed it again.

I began to scream, trying to get out of her grip, but she holded me even thighter. "Use your words. I don't understand what you said, Khanh", was all she said. I began to panic and whimpered:"I don't want to get hurt, mom." As if I had said the right thing, she stopped and letted me go. After the video ended, she clicked something on her computer, and the video dissappered.

"Wash your face and go to bed", my mother spoke. I wiped one of my tears away, but there were coming more. She took my wrist, removed the band and placed it somewhere in her drawers. "Stop crying. You're not a baby anymore, Khanh Ly", she warned me. I nod and closed the door behind me without any noise.

My own mother forced me to watch those videos everytime she was home. To make me loose my emotions, or like my parents: to become a man. And now I remembered every single detail of it again.

There's no hiding from my past anymore.

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The chapter is a bit diffrent from the others, because it contains triggerwarnings and trauma.

Please remember that this chapter was all from my imagination but it still exists in our world.

There are several people who had went through something like this in their childhood, causing trauma to them.

Please be aware of your surroundings and seek for help if you or someone you know is going through something like this

Thank you💕

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Now my words to this chapter:

I'm really happy to finally share Kaan's childhood and thoughts with y'all, because he was never really in the spotlight like Jay or Nico.

I can't wait to share more chapters like this ❤️❤️, so y'all can get to know the characters better. Thank you all for your support💗