The Love I Need

Chapter 55

I wake up in the night due to my own crying, and it must have woken up Theo too because he's also already awake.

He sits our bodies up on the couch and strokes my hair while the tears roll down my face. "What is it, Milia?" he asks while cupping my face in his hands.

I shake my head and pull away from the gentle hold he has on me to press against his neck. "I don't know... I can't remember," I whimper with defeat.

I'm being honest. I don't know what I was dreaming about but it was enough to wake me up with very real tears.

I know I don't feel scared though. It wasn't a sense of fear that woke me. My heart aches, and I feel like something has been ripped away from me, but I don't think it has anything to do with what happened to me.

As I cling to Theo and his strong hands smooth down my back, I remember when I've felt like this before...

"Milia," Theo whispers my name in a shaking whisper and squeezes me closer to his body. "You're safe, sweetheart. I've got you. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

I shake my head again and kiss his neck, pressing my body as close to his as I can manage so that I can feel the beating of his heart in his chest.

"What do you need? Is there anything I can do?" he asks while his hand moves into my hair to cradle my face against him.

"I just want to go back to sleep with you," I tell him with a small smile. "I think... I just needed to know you were here."

"I'm right here, Princess. Always right here for you," he promises, and his lips press against the top of my head as he leans back again to lay our bodies on the couch. "You're safe with me."

I know I am, but it wasn't my lack of safety that had me waking up with a sob.

It was his.

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When I wake up again, the early morning light is coming through the windows in the living room.

I jolt upright when I realize Theo's strong body isn't beneath me, only to find him sitting on the floor next to the couch with his phone and a notebook.

He turns around to look at me and gives me a gentle smile. "Good morning," he greets while he shifts himself onto his knees and then leans in for a kiss.

"What are you doing on the floor?" I ask once I've kissed him back. I grip the backs of his arms and attempt to tug him toward me.

Theo chuckles and presses his mouth against mine again but then eases back. I catch a slight wince on his face while he moves his legs from beneath him again to sit back on the floor.

"Theo?" I brush my fingers through his hair and look over his shoulder to try and get a glance at the notebook. "No alarm today?"

He shakes his head and uses the couch to push himself to his feet. "No. I might go in later but I wanted to take some time off this morning."

I'm relieved by his answer. I had been worried that he'd try to go to work even if I suggested that he stay home. We could both use some peace and quiet after the weekend we had.

He sits next to me on the couch and puts an arm around my shoulders before he hands me the notebook. "I was doing some research on some sexual abuse and trauma specialists in the area."

Oh...

I take the notebook from his hand and glance down at the list of names and phone numbers, and then try to hand it back to him. "Thanks, Theo, but I don't need them. I'm okay."